


A Heart to Love (And in that Heart... Courage)

by AnJoanGrey



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: All the Chapter titles are exact quotations from Macbeth, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome!Scotty, Complete, Hurt!Spock, Hurt/Comfort, Jim Kirk being awesome, Leonard does not care, Leonard saves him, Love at First Sight, M/M, Or a Prince, Prisoner!Spock, References to Macbeth, References to Torture, Sarek of Vulcan - Freeform, Soulmates, Spock may be a dangerous criminal, Starfleet, Temporary Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 28,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8659126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnJoanGrey/pseuds/AnJoanGrey
Summary: Multichapter!On his way back to the Enterprise, after having attended a conference, Leonard saves a mysterious Vulcan male who had seemingly escaped from a Cardassian prison. He is very badly injured, he has been tortured and starved. Is he a dangerous criminal, a victim, or…? For Leonard it does not matter. But what will the outcome of this encounter be? It will change their destinies for ever – and perhaps even the destiny of the galaxy. For two hearts, beating as one, can change the world.





	1. Shipwrecking Storms and Direful Thunders Break

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for deleting and reuploading. There has been an AO3 error.

                                                

 

"I hate space. I hate, hate, hate, hatehatehate space! So dark and dangerous and… useless. I am a doctor, not a pilot, goddamn it! Going mad here, talking by myself. Good thing no one can hear me. They'd think I've gotten mad. The Mad Doctor Leonard H. McCoy, M.D., PhD! Fuck."

Leonard was returning from a conference which had taken place on the distant L-Class planet Dakala. He had gone there by himself, and it was still by himself that he was returning. He was a fairly good pilot - as good as any other Starfleet officer (who had millions of other things to do) could be. That did not prevent him from constantly mumbling his general lack of good mood. 

He disliked everything and everyone - except, okay, Jim, his best friend, and his job as Chief Medical Officer on the Starship Enterprise. It was okay to dislike everything, he thought. It reminded him of Grumpy Cat. He was Mr. Leonard Grumpy-Cat-McCoy.

He was passing through an asteroid belt. Great, more issues. Going around asteroids. Did he specify he was a Doctor, not a - ??

Something drew his attention. On a larger asteroid he was trying to fly by, he spotted a small shuttle whose port nacelle was stuck in the rocky formations. He frowned and he ran a quick scan of it - there was one life-sign, very faint inside the shuttle and life-support seemed to be failing. 

That could not be good. 

He could not recognize that model of shuttle - so basically, whoever was inside, it could be a very dangerous and angry Klingon ready to feast on his flesh, a king-sized spider or - on the contrary, a damsel in distress. No matter what, he was a Doctor and all life was sacred.

He had to go and take a look. Lend a hand. 

He landed on the respective asteroid. Great, no gravity and no atmosphere, of course, what did he expect?

He put on the away-mission belt, which generated a constant protective field around his body, providing him with enough warmth and oxygen so that he would not need a space costume - because damn! - he hated space costumes.

He picked up his medical bag and a phaser, even though he had never fired a single shot at a living being - not even at cockroaches, and those were Very Nasty Beings. But well, one could never know.

The foreign shuttle gave him shivers. He still did not recognize the class or the configuration. There was smoke all around; without the belt, Leonard would have barely been able to breathe. 

“Great, McCoy, get yourself into just some more trouble, as if you did not have enough trouble with the Medical Board and all those dinosaurs who think it is unethical to resurrect Jim Kirk. I swear, this is the last time I am ever going in front of that bunch of gorillas.”

Truth was, he was a bit afraid. Talking by himself out loud helped calming down a bit, but only a bit. He continued to scan around, trying to locate the faint life-sign that was registering on his tricorder. He found the respective being in the front nacelle, collapsed on the pilot’s chair.

He went to him – oh, oh God! It registered Vulcan on his tricorder! He had never seen one – they were an utmost secretive race, minding their own business on their home-world, rarely seen by others, almost ethereal like angels, and there were legends weaved around them. A Vulcan! Good God, he had found a Vulcan!

He quickly cross-referenced what his tricorder was reading with all the information he had stored in his computer console – okay, it was not difficult to figure out that the individual – a young male – was dying.

He had a severe concussion , his head looked gravely injured and his face was covered in green blood. He tried to lift him, but he was heavy, much heavier than the average Human – of course, of course, why not? A different body density. His kind of luck. But as he was attempting to lift him, he also noticed that the spine was curved in an unnatural way – damn, was his spine broken? He ran a few more scans before attempting to move him. Okay, not broken, but also badly injured. Everything must have happened when he had crashed here.

Leonard took a risk and lifted him up, and as soon as he did that, the console started to beep erratically. He did not understand the language in which the warning message was displayed, but it sure as hell sounded like a bad warning. Better get out of here fast.

Leonard lifted the Vulcan in his arms and beamed away onto his own shuttle, in due time because the alien shuttle exploded with a terrible blast.

The shockwave, with the force of a tsunami, threw Leonard’s shuttle away from the asteroid, hundreds of metres farther, spinning out of control through space.

Darkness fell.

 

Leonard had no idea for how long he had been _out_. When he opened his eyes, the alien whom he had saved, the Vulcan, was in his arms. He must have taken a good hold of him, to instinctively protect him from injuring himself further, when the shockwave had hit them. 

Everything felt achy; he got up and carefully lifted the Vulcan, placing him on the bed. He did not care much about the shuttle or their current situation or position. He had to make sure his patient will survive. He carefully cut his dirty, bloody clothes and covered him with sterile surgical cloths. He had many wounds, mostly caused by the crash, but also others - he appeared to have been... beaten? Burnt with some...thing? Also there were several cuts??

"Good God, this man has been tortured," the realization suddenly dawned upon Leonard. Of all the devilish things any being could accomplish, torture was by far the one Leonard despised the most. Cruelty was never, never, never justified. Monsters, heartless monsters to harm such a beautiful being!

For he was beautiful, Leonard could tell, even if he was dirty, wounded and generally almost dead. He placed an oxygen mask onto his face and injected a few hyposprays, starting to treat him with care. He washed, disinfected and cleaned his every wound, applying healing agents, suturing and disinfecting each inch of skin.

His spine was another problem. The vertebral disks, although elastic from what he could tell, were misaligned. He carefully turned the heavy Vulcan on his belly and climbed over him, straddling him between his legs. He applied a gel on his own hands which he then rubbed together and he began applying a firm massage, to help relax the  muscles  and ease the tension, all the while attempting to determine what was the correct position of the bone fragments.

He had studied chiropraxy, an ancient Terran technique of bone realignment. He took one of the Vulcan’s arms and pulled firmly to the left, aligning the first two vertebral discs.

The alien took a spasmodic breath and began to struggle, suddenly awake.

Leonard jumped off him, so as not to scare him. A bad moment to come around!

The Vulcan sat up all of a sudden, scared, throwing the surgical scrubs off him, and he would have probably jumped off the window if there had been any breathable atmosphere outside.

Leonard lifted his hands, in a gesture of non-aggression.

“Easy, eaaaaasy now! I am not going to hurt you. I am a doctor! Doctor, you know?? Can you understand me? Fuck, is the Universal Translator even working?”

“Where are – where am I?”

“I found you adrift, almost dead in your shuttle. I took you aboard mine so that I could treat you. Unfortunately your shuttle exploded.”

“You are… Human? From Terra? Not Cardassian?”

“Hell, no, I am not Cardassian!! Cardassians did those things to you? I should have known…”

The Vulcan looked downwards, with an obvious sigh of relief which made Leonard’s heart ache. But then again, he had been on Cardassia, and most obviously in detention. That could not be right.

“You’ve escaped from prison, isn’t it?” Leonard gathered the courage to ask.

“Yes,” the Vulcan answered with honesty. Have you already signalled our position and the fact that you have found me?”

“Nothing of the sort. I was knocked unconscious for a while when your shuttle exploded, and the blast also damaged my own shuttle, and ever since I got up   , I took care of you. And I haven’t finished! Look, I am a doctor. I don’t care if you are a dangerous psychopath or a criminal escaped from Cardassia. You are very badly injured and you need help. So lay back down.”

“Please, Doctor, let me assure myself of your honesty. May I touch you for a moment?”

“Sure, yeah, whatever,” Leonard agreed, coming closer. Most certainly, the guy was some kind of an empath.

But the Vulcan extended one hand and aligned his fingers on his right cheek, in a particular configuration, and all of a sudden, Leonard felt… strange, he felt as if a powerful presence is discretely washing over his own consciousness… it was very strange, not disturbing in the least, soothing, like an inner caress, straight on his soul…

“Therefore your name is Leonard, and you have not lied to me.”

“How do you know my name? Was it written on my face?”

A feeble smile appeared on the Vulcan’s lips, and God knows why, Leonard’s heartbeat accelerated.

“Okay, okay. And what is your name then, Mr. Vulcan?”

“Do you not know who I am?”

Okay, this guy was probably wanted for murder or robbery or something, his face must be all over the news. Unfortunately, Leonard never had the time to watch or read the news.

“Not the faintest idea.”

“My name is Spock.”

“Ok, cool, Spock. Now come on up on the bed and let me do my job.

Leonard spent the next few hours fixing Spock's damaged spine. He carefully aligned all the vertebral discs, applying numbing agents and hyposprays for the pain. Strangely how he did not feel the need to talk too much, he just worked silently; even though quite thin - no doubt he had been starving in the Cardassian prison - Spock had a wonderfully proportioned body, like those statues from the ancient Greece... He spent time massaging each muscle and caring for each scratch.

Finally pleased, but also tired, he got off him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much, much better, Doctor, albeit cold and tired... and hungry..."

"I'll fix us some dinner - uh, cold? Seems our life-support is not in the greatest shape, I should take a look at the shuttle's status."

The Vulcan sat up, stretching, obviously in a much better state than when Leonard had found him. Leonard had gotten to the front of the shuttle to check a few instruments. Spock came near him, taking a look at the piloting console. He pressed a few controls with his beautiful, long fingers. 

"The right nacelle is severed, we are venting drive plasma and our life-support is failing, communications are down," he said professionally. "Perform a shut-down of all systems, I will help with repairs after I rest for a while."

"Uhm, okay cool," Leonard said with relief, because he was not very good with all technical things, and well, engine repairs were in any case well beyond his capabilities. "Thanks."

"You are welcome, Leonard," he said calmly, and Leonard felt a strange shiver - he suddenly loved the way his name sounded!

As soon as he finished replicating food, he brought everything to the only bed in the shuttle and turned off all the systems.

"We cannot send a distress call," Spock said with concern. "We are defenseless here."

"Yeah well, we'll see if we can fix somethin' tomorrow, but right now it does us no good to worry. Just eat something and then we'll rest. Hopefully you won't mind sharing a bed with me, since we only have one. And let's hope that your Cardassian buddies won't be hoppin' around."

Spock frowned, obviously making serious efforts to understand what the Human was saying. He ate what Leonard had brought, a few slices of fruit and cookies and drank a lot of water. His eyes were effectively closing, but as soon as he would actually close them, he had terrible, terrible nightmares.

"Doctor, uh..."

"I thought you were callin' me Leonard."

"Leonard. Yes. Do you have a solution to stop the dreams?"

Leonard's heart melted upon hearing such a question. It was more than obvious why the Vulcan had made such a request. Bad memories from the imprisonment... nightmares... who knows what they had done to him... but on the other hand, who knows why had he been in prison anyway! There must have been a reason. He should not forget that the beautiful Vulcan was, after all, a dangerous alien.

"Okay, I'll give you something, but just this time. Next time you need to sleep, no hyposprays."

"Very well."

The Vulcan lay on the small bed, near the wall, trying to leave enough room for his newly found friend.

Leonard fixed one more hypospray and applied it to Spock with a soft gesture, and then lay near him, silently, covering himself with one of the blankets.

Before falling asleep, Spock turned towards him.

“Are you not going to ask me if I am a dangerous criminal?” he inquired with curiosity.

“No,” Leonard replied simply.

“Why?”

“Because it does not matter.”

“Careless Human…” the Vulcan murmured softly – almost with fondness, and seconds after, he fell into a deep sleep.


	2. Time and the Hour Runs through the Roughest Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who pay attention to details, the year is...?

Leonard had no idea what time it was, but he woke up dead-tired and feeling very cold. The Vulcan was no longer in bed near him - he immediately jumped up, looking around. 

He spotted him in the front of the shuttle, where he had removed a panel and was apparently working on something.

"What happen'd?" he mumbled, stumbling off the bed and going to him, hugging himself in order to warm up.

"I am attempting to get the communications going, but your shuttle has sustained considerable damage and you do not have many tools. We are adrift."

"Yeah," Leonard agreed, not knowing what to say. "You should have stayed in bed longer, how long have we been sleeping for? Not even five hours, I think..."

"I have been sleeping without any dreams, for which I thank you, for four hours and thirty-two minutes. You have slept for another extra twelve minutes."

Leonard needed coffee. Now.

"How can you be so precise?"

"I have an innate sense of Time. I have translated the amount of time we spent sleeping into standard time which is familiar to you."

"Just wow... I cannot even remember what day is today."

"It is Saturday, December 3, 2258, Stardate 2258.21"

Leonard was rather speechless. This was no ordinary being, that was for sure. He picked up his scanner and while the Vulcan was working, he ran a thorough scan of him. His spine was still not well-aligned and the vertebral discs were far from healed. 

"You are in pain, Spock, come on, back to bed. Forget about the repairs."

"We need to get the communications going, I must alert - "

"Yeah, okay, of course, but only after you are getting better. Right now, you are on the verge of collapsing and I won't have you lose consciousness because you are stubborn and you do not want to follow my advice."

Spock straightened, after which he grimaced, in obvious pain, unable to take one more step.

"Told ya," Leonard sighed, after which he rushed to him and sustained him, one arm around his waist, taking him back to bed.

As soon as he managed to lay down, Spock took a very deep breath of relief. Leonard was already preparing hyposprays – the substances were cold and he could not set their temperatures he had noticed that the Vulcan needed slightly higher temperature than him (and Leonard was freezing right now), but he endured everything with stoicism. He lifted his blue shirt and placed the hypos directly on his skin, to warm them.

“What are you doing?” Spock inquired, curious and worried.

“Warming up your medicine, so that you do not go into shock.”

Spock blinked, after which, very softly, shyly almost, he placed one hand on Leonard’s arm.

“This is, I am sure, the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Leonard smiled and felt stupid, and he did not know what to say, gazing into the Vulcan’s dark brown eyes. Why did he feel he could just look into those eyes forever?

“Right, um. You’re welcome, it’s nothing really, I did not contaminate them or something. There, that should do,” Leonard said and  then gently injected them onto his neck, seeing instant relief on his face.

“Why are you –“ Spock began, then stopped.

“What?” Leonard inquired, with curiosity, but also with a smile on his face, a smile that not even Jim had seen very often.

“Why are you being so kind to me?”

“You have been injured,” Leonard said simply. “I am a Doctor. All life is sacred.”

“Even that of a prisoner which had escaped from Cardassian hands and who, for what it is worth, may be an arch criminal?”

“Even _that_.”

Spock said nothing, his eyes just a tone darker.

“Spock, stop it. I cannot read thoughts, but they are plainly written on your face. You are afraid that as soon as we re-establish communications, I will call the Starfleet Military service and give you in, because, isn’t it? What will I do with a prisoner, and I might even be accused of helping you escape or God knows what. I will not do anything of the sort, on the contrary. I do not care where you come from, what you did, or what you are planning to do. I want to restore your health; I will not divulge your identity, hell, I do not even know who you are very well, and please do not give me details, so that I do not have to lie.”

“You are taking a lot of risks, Leonard…”

“It does not matter,” Leonard just said, for the second time since he had met him. He felt it did not really matter who Spock was or what was going to happen.

Spock extended one hand and pulled Leonard on the margin of the bed.

“Lay down? You did not sleep enough.”

“And who’s gonna fix the engines and the communication console?”

“Not you, in any case,” Spock said and he smiled.

Leonard skipped a breath upon seeing him smile – it filled his heart with an unknown feeling, as if ice starting to melt, and It hurt for some reason. Seeing him smile.

“May I touch your mind?”

“Why? So that you could see I’m not lying?”

“No, I apologize if I have given you this impression. _Melding_ – how we call it - is essential for a Vulcan, just like an affectionate touch is essential for new-born Human babies… Without melding we are crippled… and it has been so long…”

“But my mind is messy.”

“I assure you it is not… besides, I will not intrude upon your privacy, I am not… _reading thoughts_ when we are melding… it is just a way of our minds to touch, just like our hands do,” Spock explained taking his hand as if he wanted to demonstrate his point of view.

Leonard did not remove his hand. Were they actually holding hands?

“Yeah, okay. Go ahead and meld.”

Spock touched his face with fingers, softly, but at the same time greedily, closing his eyes. Leonard was once more overwhelmed by that devastating feeling of merging, their life-essences, their minds melding into one another. He was aware of Spock at a very different level; it was not as if he was aware of his presence in the same room, in the same bed; it was more, way more than that. He could not perceive his thoughts, but rather the intimate way in which the other’s mind functioned. And Spock was… he was simply embracing him from within, strongly, with despair, with affection, and Leonard just wanted this to last forever…

As time went by – Leonard did not know if it was minutes or hours – he could feel how the Vulcan became more tranquil, more at peace, as if his mind was being nurtured by the meld, fed by Leonard’s acceptance.

“You… needed this, didn’t you?” Leonard murmured, dazed by the experience, but still within the meld.

“Yes… yes. Please, can we… some more?”

“More melding?”

“Yes… please Leonard… I am not going to hurt you.”

“Yeah okay, sure, but let us take a break so that I can apply you the necessary hypos, then a massage, then we’ll eat something, and then we can meld again. What do you say?”

Spock reluctantly broke the contact and sat up.

“Very well, Leonard. Thank you. I’ll go see if I can fix the life-support and replicator unit… and the shower, I really need to bathe.”

Leonard smiled; so did he; but somehow he had forgotten about his own needs.

Spock went to the front side of the shuttle, taking a box of tools and he worked silently for a while. Leonard used the opportunity to prepare Spock’s medicine, injectable solutions carefully stored in adequate hyposprays. He fixed a frugal dinner since their supplies were almost finished.

It was so peaceful, the entire thing. Here he was, stranded in a shuttle with an unknown alien; no engines and no communications; and he had never felt more… joyous… happy? He was afraid to think. Good God, he had barely met him, one day ago. This was crazy. Well then, Jim will soon figure everything up and will send a rescue party or come with the Enterprise itself, and then… he and the Vulcan will go separate ways, and that would be it.

For some reason, the thought provoked Leonard a chocking sensation! Go separate ways?

Spock dropped the heavy tool he was currently using and came to Leonard immediately.

“Leonard? What is it?”

“Huh? What? Wha-?”

“I felt your distress.”

“How can you feel my distress from across the room? I thought that you needed to touch me in order to perceive… things about me,” Leonard said frowning, on an accusing tone, which was in fact only a mask hiding a terrible moment of weakness.

“I am sorry, Leonard, I did not mean to intrude… while it is true I am a touch telepath, I can… just feel what you feel, I cannot explain it. This has never happened to me before, with any other being.”

“Yeah okay, fine, just drop it, I’m fine,” he said grumpily. “Have you gotten that shower going? I’m stinky like a goat.”

“ _Goat?”_ Spock raised a brow, surprised.

“Goat… you know… an animal we have on Terra…?”

“Are they intelligent beings, albeit smelly?”

Leonard shook his head and smiled. Really, he was so – so…!

“I would not say intelligent, just smelly. So unless you want me to turn into a goat, you’d better fix that shower.”

“I doubt you have the ability of changing form, Leonard, but to reassure you, shower is fixed. You may go wash; then I will also go. While you do that, I will also fix the replicator unit.”

Leonard blessed him for being able to fix things. He could ever repair stuff; he would heal bodies, sometimes even minds (souls, perhaps?) but mechanics and engineering and communications were just… bleh! For how many times had he told Jim he was a DOCTOR, dammit!?

He undressed and stepped into the tiny shower cabin. The water was cold but he did not complain; at least he would be clean again. He washed himself thoroughly, as if he wanted to wash away an emotion that had become… sticky at a very intimate level, an emotion he did not know how to name, or perhaps he was afraid to analyse.

He dressed in clean clothes, then he cleaned the shower cabin carefully for Spock – he did not want him to catch any Human microbes.

Spock went in next. He emerged all clean and wearing spare clothes from Leonard – mainly a pair of sweat pants and a black t-shirt, and Leonard skipped a breath upon seeing how beautiful and fit he was.

Spock’s cheeks coloured in green upon perceiving Leonard’s admirative look.

“Um, yeah, so. Food?” Leonard proposed, because really, he felt… he was going crazy.

“Food,” Spock acknowledged.

“We don’t have a table, so let’s sit on the bed.”

“But we shall make crumbles on the bed,” Spock protested, looking around to see if something, a box or maybe a console, could be used as a table.”

“Wow, so what, we’ll clean afterwards. You’re a neat-freak guy, aren’t you?”

“I like things to be very clean and organized and serving the purpose for which they have been designated, and in their rightful places and –“

“You’re an OCD neat-freak, okay. Don’t worry. I’ll clean the crumbs.”

Spock smiled, and Leonard smiled back – and his heart ached some more. To hide his emotion, Leonard began eating. Damn, he was hungry!

“This is not the greatest food ever, but hey, we are in the middle of nowhere and God, I’m starving!” he exclaimed with his mouth full.

“It has been a while since I have had any kind of good food so I am very pleased to eat whatever you give me, Leonard.”

“Here, have a cookie. These are the only ones left but I know the molecular structure so we can replicate some more.”

“ _Cookie_?” the Vulcan inquired, surprised.

“Haven’t you ever eaten cookies? Chocolate-chip cookies? Brownies, biscuits, tarts? Ice-cream?”

Spock looked at him confused.

“While I know this terminology from the Standard language vocabulary of palatable items, I must confess that no, I have not eaten the items you mentioned now.”

He had such a funny way of speaking, Leonard thought! He split a cookie in two and ate the first half himself.

“Come on, I am not trying to poison you. Here, I’m eating half of it. They’re safe.”

Spock took it from his hand, clearly interested to share something with Leonard – as if they weren’t sharing enough already, a stray thought crossed his mind. He ate the ‘item’ – it had an unknown, very pleasant taste that spread warmth through his body, so he ate one more.

“What did you say the word for this type of taste was?”

“ _Sweet,_ ” Leonard said with a smile. “You like them?”

“I like them,” Spock acknowledged, after which he ate another two.

Leonard said nothing else. Gosh, his heart was beating fast. What the hell was happening to him? What if this Vulcan, with his telepathic powers, was trying to manipulate him? He looked at him with doubt for a second.

As if sensing his doubts or becoming suddenly aware of them, Spock placed one soft hand on his arm.

“Leonard… please do not doubt me. I will not harm you in any way.”

“Yeah, okay, fine,” he snapped and he immediately regretted his aggressive tone as Spock had immediately flinched. “Listen, I feel a bit uneasy, okay? I don’t know what the hell is going on with me. So go to sleep, and I’ll… um… be in the nacelle, I need to write my report about the conference I have been attending. Jim’s gonna arrive soon to save us and I wanna have my report ready and then bam aboard my ship and… get on with… things.”

Spock swallowed hard, obviously fighting a difficult, overwhelming emotion.

“Very well, Leonard, I will do so.”

Spock cleaned the bed himself, put the tray which they had used to eat away on a shelf and la on the bed, covering himself with a blanket and feeling… very much alone. Leonard was doubting him but then again, what could he ask? What _more_ could he ask for the compassionate Human who had already done so much?

He could not keep this Human –

The thought scared him. Wait, did he want to _keep_ him? To do what with him? Spock did not know; he had no idea how something like this could even be accomplished. But what he knew – was the fact that right now, he was six feet away from Leonard McCoy – and he found that unbearable.


	3. The Love that Follows Us Sometime Is Our Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is welcome.  
> Kudos for those who discover the classical Star Trek quote in this Chapter.

Leonard felt stupid for staying in the pilot's chair and pretending to be working. He was, of course, NOT working. Why had he pushed him away? He had but a few days, or hours even, until they would be found, and they would go separate ways. Anyway, it was too late now. He had already told Spock to stay away from him, because, well... he did not know why.

Spock was not sleeping either. He felt cold, and if **he** did - he, who could adjust his body temperature to some degree - that meant Leonard would be freezing. For some reason, he could not bear knowing that Leonard, his saviour, his doctor, his new friend, his - what?? - was experiencing any discomfort. 

He got off the bed and just went to Leonard, seeing him all curled up in the chair, shivering.

"Oh, you, careless Human," he gently reprimanded him, after which he lifted him in his arms and took him to bed. 

Strangely, Leonard did not protest in the least. He allowed himself to be carried and deposed on the bed. Spock covered him with the two blankets and then he took him in his arms, tightly, one leg over him.

Leonard felt cosy and warm, and his heart was beating like crazy.

"What are we doing?" Leonard asked, his voice trembling.

“You are very cold,” Spock said dismissively. “Your body temperature needs to increase.”

“That is not what we are doing,” Leonard replied on an almost accusing tone. Okay, there was something… something they had yet to talk about or analyse, there was this _something_ between them, and Leonard HAD to know what it was, because he swore to God, he started to get mad!!

“…no,” Spock finally admitted, hesitantly. He felt that Leonard needed to _talk about it_ – but what could he tell him?

He looked for his hand in the bed, holding it tight against his own chest, and Leonard did not feel like removing it.

“I feel…” Spock began, on the same hesitant tone. “I feel we cannot be apart, and you feel the same.”

“How do you know how I feel???” Leonard snapped at him, attempting to break free from his arms, uselessly though, because suddenly Spock tightened his grip and instead of panicking and feeling scared, Leonard felt that strange warmth spreading through his soul, through his body, his mind.

“Do not,” Spock warned. “We may soon be separated. Let us be true to each other. I cannot bear the idea of being apart from you, not even if it is for a short while and for a short distance. I have never felt like this for any other being. I know you feel the same. And before you speak something really idiot, no, I did not read this in your mind, I do not need to. I can read it very well in your eyes, right now.”

Leonard gave up struggling and closed his eyes tightly, like a child afraid of darkness.

“What if I am married?” Leonard whispered.

“What if I have a mate?” Spock also said, seeing Leonard starting to effectively shiver. “But I do not, and I know for a fact that you do not have one either. And somehow, Leonard, I feel that even if we did… it would not matter right now.”

Leonard opened his eyes slowly. They were laying on the bed, facing each other, their bodies in contact and he felt they were just… he did not know… they belonged together in a way he could not understand, in a way he could not analyse, in a way that terrorized him!

“I will not hurt you, Leonard, no matter what you think of me.”

“You are hurting me already. Having met you is hurting me. We will soon go separate ways and we’ll more likely never meet again.”

“That may not be so… you could come with me.”

“And do what? Be a fugitive? I am a Starfleet officer! I still have some honour left.”

“I am – “

“No, do not tell me who you are, or what you are, or what you did.”

“I would not dishonour you, Leonard…”

“And what would you do exactly?”

Spock opened his mouth to say something and then changed his mind and remained silent for a while. What could he tell Leonard? He did not want to hear the truth, and perhaps he himself was not yet ready to tell him the story of his life, with his terrible misfortunes and moments of grace…

“You would be with a fugitive who has escaped from prison; but he would treat you like a king.”

“… like a king?” Leonard murmured, not really paying attention to the words. He just held his hand tighter, looking into his eyes, wanting to just look into these dark-brown eyes forever. “This is completely crazy…”

Spock pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his waist, and covering both of them with the blankets. It was cold, but it did not matter anymore – all it mattered was that he had this Human in his arms, this Human who made his heart ache so, so much.

Without actually being able to think anymore, Leonard’s hands circled the Vulcan’s neck – he could feel his hot breath and see his dilated pupils…

Oh, how he wanted to be close to him, closer, as close as possible, and not just now… forever, foreverforever…

As if sensing the powerful emotion that had overflooded Leonard’s consciousness, Spock did not wait for another word to be spoken.

He kissed him.

Leonard  thought his own heart will simply stop upon the immense feeling of plenitude, of completion that filled his entire being when their lips touched. He could barely move, not even daring to respond to the kiss at first, as if he would have thought it was just a dream.

Spock kissed him the second time, more decidedly, his own mind refilling with doubts as he felt no encouragement.

“Leonard,” he whispered. “Leonard. Shall we stop…?”

Stop? Leonard was certain he would die if they stopped.

He held him tight and kissed back with all the passion that had overwhelmed him – but was it actually passion?

It was, but it was more, much more than that. It was love, pure and simple, and rising in his heart like the sun of a pure morning! It was brightening everything in himself – so, yes – he kissed him, kissed him, kissed him again, melting into the kiss and holding him tight, with despair.

Spock rolled over him, holding him in a tight embrace and continued to kiss him, as if he wanted to drink the very essence of his life – oh, how he adored him!

Yes – this is what it was – however that happened, he did not know – but he could not, could not for the life of him – he just could not – and WOULD NOT – give up Leonard. Not now – never!!!

Leonard did not feel there was any trace of eroticism in these kisses. He could just kiss Spock forever, for one million years; they were one, their bodies touched – the kiss was the expression of their mutual desire to just… melt into one another.

Leonard lost the notion of time. He no longer cared, it was too late.

Spock did not stop either – for many hours they just remained there, under the blankets, just kissing.

“I think ‘m gonna die…” Leonard whispered.

“No… no,” Spock whispered back, against his lips. “I will not let you.”

“You will leave.”

“I cannot leave you, Leonard. I cannot even endure being one foot away from you.”

At some point, they both fell asleep, cuddled into one another, holding on to each other tightly. The temperature continued to drop in the shuttle as their engine was not yet functional. 

Spock was holding him very tight, his fingers having instinctively found the meld points on Leonard's face in their sleep; Spock's consciousness was deeply merged into that of Leonard, their minds were one, and he knew now, he just knew - their souls were also one. 

It hurt, Spock thought as he opened his eyes to watch his Leonard sleeping. How had it been possible - to love someone after not even 48 hours of standard time together?

He will talk with Father - he will tell him that this is his Chosen One - he will never be apart from Leonard. After all, Father had chosen a Human mate as well.

Leonard opened his eyes, and Spock kissed his forehead tenderly.

"I did not mean to wake you up, forgive me."

"Don't wanna sleep."

"Why?"

"Wanna look at you."

Spock's heart melted upon hearing such endearing words. He adjusted their positions in bed so that they could look at each other. 

"Leonard... I love you, Leonard."

Leonard swallowed with difficulty, his eyes troubled, filling with tears. How - how was this possible?

"I love you, Spock," he then said, softly, as tears ran down his cheeks, wetting Spock's fingers which rested, still, on his face. 

"Please, do not cry. I will not leave you."

"And how... what... what are we going to do?"

"We will find a way. Later, we will talk, I will tell you everything about myself, even though you said you did not want to know. I believe that now it is necessary."

“Later, okay? Just… hold me… and if you wanna meld some more…? I feel as if there is a bridge of light in my mind, whenever we meld.”

Spock’s eyes widened in astonishment for a moment.

“A bridge of light?”

“Sorry, that sounded stupid, I know.”

“No, Leonard… stupid is the last thing it is. You just…”

Spock was momentarily rendered speechless; he just connected the meld one more time and looked carefully at Leonard’s mind – yes, oh, for the love of all the holy gods, there it was!!! The bond, beautiful like the sunrise, was forming, building slowly and ever growing…

“…what? What did I do now?” Leonard asked with worry as he saw Spock’s astonished expression.

“I do not know how to explain. There is a… a… bridge of light starting to connect my mind to yours. When this bond is complete, there is no known force in the universe that will be able to separate us. We will… will…”

“Tell me, Spock, I gotta know.”

“We will be like a single soul residing in two bodies, we will not survive one without the other.”

Leonard sat up, then got off the bed and went to the bathroom, leaving the door open and he washed his face with cold water. Yes, he felt bad to be away from Spock, and gosh, they were only a few meters apart.

His words resonated through his mind. A single soul, residing in two bodies.

He loved Spock, he loved him. If he thought well, he had loved him from the first moment he saw him – and god, he did not even believe in love at first sight. Stupid Romantic shit. He was in SO much trouble. A bridge of light was growing in his mind.

He was going to let it grow. Otherwise, the price would have been his soul.


	4. “When I Burned in Desire”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humbled and grateful for the number of reads.  
> I hope I will not disappoint you!  
> Next chapter will be posted on December 31 - currently, Christmas chaos has ensured.

 

Leonard felt dizzy. He was in Spock's arms; they did not have many pillows and Spock's back was still sensitive and achy, so they had improvised using a pile of blankets. Spock was caressing his hair, tenderly, lifting his chin at times and kissing his lips. Leonard had never felt so vulnerable in his entire life. It was as if he had no energy, no will left. 

It did not matter; he would not trade these feelings, these sensations for anything in the entire universe!

He loved Spock to pieces.

He had never loved anyone before - except, perhaps, Jim, but like a brother - not like this. 

Oh, what, what will he do?

Spock's eyes were dark and powerful, as if he had found a reason to live - because he had never had one. To have found his Loved One, his Ashayam, his T'hy'la, his soulmate - on a shuttle among a field of asteroids - oh, how strange life was?

Vulcans did not believe in destiny, but right now, in this perfect moment of peace, he thought that there must be a higher force which had brought Leonard and himself together, because how else could _this_ be explained?

He loved Leonard to pieces.

He wrapped his arms around him tighter and leaned to kiss him, with all the passion and love he felt for the beautiful, fragile, exceptional Human who had given him his heart...

Instinctively, his fingers went to the meld points on Leonard's face. They had melded countless times already, and Spock's mind was attracted to that of Leonard like a magnet. Between them, a bond had formed spontaneously, just like love had flourished at first sight. 

Spock was terrified and humbled - a bond which would form by itself, without any conscious intention from the behalf of the partners, was an extremely rare thing. Such bonds were sacred and revered; no one would ever attempt to separate partners united by such a force. 

But Spock could not help but thinking - would  _they_ separate them? What will he do, how will they survive?

Leonard sensed his despair.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I cannot lose you - Leonard - I cannot - cannot - I will die."

"So am I," Leonard confessed.

Without actually processing what he was doing anymore, Spock started kissing him with increased passion and… thirst, sliding his hands under Leonard’s shirt, wanting, needing to feel more. He caressed his hips, his rib-cage, his chest, kissing him roughly, as if he wanted to devour him…

Leonard encouraged him, mirroring his gestures and  attempting to remove his shirt – yes, he no longer cared about consequences, he wanted him, he wanted him now, he wanted to be one with him at all levels…

“I want you, Leonard, my love, my love…”

“Yes,” it was all that Leonard managed to say.

Their clothes vanished in seconds and Leonard thought he had never experienced a more blissful sensation than that of their bodies in contact – Spock over him, heavy, his skin hot and soft as silk, his hands exploring and demanding, wanting more, needing more.

“I have never been with a man before…” Leonard managed to tell him, because he thought Spock had to know.

“I have never been ‘with’ any being before,” Spock answered, melding once again profoundly, to see what was acceptable, because he did not want to hurt him in the least.

“My Leonard, my love, my mate,” he whispered as he took him as gently as he could, as softly as his own instincts allowed him; yes – that was what Leonard was – _his mate_.

Leonard didn't quite realize where his own body ended and where Spock's body began. He felt as if they had fused... it was not an act of pleasure, he felt, but a sacred act of union, the most intense he had ever had the chance to experience. He did not know what could ever match this moment.

Spock was kissing him, his body undulating slowly, also not caring about reaching a climax. He just wanted to feel him, to breathe him, to be one with him. And they were one, forever, he knew that. 

Upon their physical union, the bond which had formed spontaneously had matured, becoming solid and steady, like the foundations of life itself...

Leonard had abandoned to him completely, letting Spock do what he wanted and take what he needed from him - his body, his mind, his every breath, it did not matter anymore. He wished they would do that forever. 

At some point, feeling Leonard had gotten tired, Spock stopped. How many hours had passed - he did not know. He slowly got out of the bed and brought a wet towel, which he used to carefully clean Leonard. Now, it was his turn to take care of him - so strange life was.

Spock felt Leonard’s needs reflecting upon his own body; he knew what ached, what needed to be tended to; he took care of Leonard’s body as if it were a prolongation of his own body; he could even tell those spots which were itchy.

“You must eat something – uh – something – “

“Something sweet, like chocolate,” Leonard said, putting on his underwear.

“I shall replicate some,” Spock replied, going to the replicator. “We still have 12% of power left.”

“Then what?”

“Then, we shall lose life-support. If we reduce the functionality of all systems to minimum, that should gain us another 10 % “

“But we’ll be very cold.”

“I shall warm you up.”

“You are not fully recovered, Spock, and the last thing you need is to be my personal heater.”

“You are mistaken, Leonard. The first, last and ONLY thing I need is you.”

Leonard knew and felt that Spock was telling the truth. It was so; Spock wanted and needed him and they had to be together – at all costs. Even at the cost of his own honour, his own soul. However, the practical means in which this could be accomplished were yet to unveil to him.

But then again, perhaps right now his mind was just too intoxicated; he would think of all this later, there would be things to do, and he would _do them_.

Spock returned to bed with chocolate, cookies and a type of bread.

“What’s this?” Leonard asked with curiosity.

“It is a highly nutritious Vulcan bread. I knew the molecular structure and thus I was able to replicate it,” he replied, offering a slice to him.

Leonard tried it; it was simple and good, tasting like brown bread and yogurt. Life could be so simple; why had he always complicated it?

“How do you call this food in your language?”

“ _Kreyla_ ,” Spock murmured. “My Father makes the best kreyla, with his own hands.”

“Your Father?” Leonard asked, perceiving the respect in Spock’s tone when he had mentioned his parent.

Spock opened his mouth to say something – but all of a sudden, the shuttle was shaken, and then their random movement through space stopped – they had been caught by a strong, steady tractor-beam.

Leonard’s eyes widened and his heart-beat largely accelerated. The time had come… The time had come to be brave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Be Not Lost

They had no communications but at this point it sufficed to look out the window in order to see who had come. It was Jim Kirk, of course, with the Enterprise – they had come to their rescue, and to his doom.

Leonard got dressed in his Starfleet uniform, watching Spock dress in the black clothes that he had replicated for him a day before.

“If they are gonna arrest you now, I…”

“Leonard…” Spock whispered reassuringly. “Nobody is going to arrest me. I can see that a Vulcan ship is docked with the Enterprise, therefore I draw the logical conclusion that my family is here as well.”

Leonard felt dizzy.

“What are they gonna say? And what do you mean by family? Your wife and children I suppose?”

“Leonard, Leonard…” Spock said, taking his hand. “I have already told you there is no one else in my life, in my heat, but you.  I did not, and do not have a mate or a wife, or a husband for that matter. I only have you.”

“I am afraid they will separate us, Spock.”

“The possibility exists, Leonard, but remember: there will be nobody else, ever, for me, and for as long as I’ll live, I will look for you and crave for you and want you. I love you.”

Leonard’s eyes were teary; he was a mess.

Their shuttle had been brought aboard; a final nudge let them know they were safely in the shuttle bay.

Leonard braced himself for what was to follow.

They opened the door.

Jim rushed inside, practically bumping into Leonard, grabbing his arms.

“BONES!!” he yelled in a surge of excitement and relief. “Good God, are you okay?”

Not waiting to hear an actual answer, he wrapped him in a tight embrace. This was his best friend, his brother, his comrade, the one person in the world he knew he could trust! The one person who accepted him for who he was and supported him nonetheless, through good and bad moments.

Leonard felt bad to be touched by someone else than Spock, though. Strange, for he was – or he used to be – a very touchy-feely person, not minding a hug or a snuggle with Jim, especially with Jim!

“I’m fine,” he mumbled.

Jim let him go, blissfully unaware of the discomfort experienced by his best friend upon his impetuous hug.

“You have found a Vulcan, yeah? We traced his life-signs to your location. We were so lucky to find both of you!!”

Leonard wanted to turn and point towards Spock, but he had already stepped forward.

“I am here, Captain,” he said coldly, on an almost royal tone. “I presume my Father is here as well?”

“Oh yes, um, greetings! He is right outside, we should go to him – are you in good health?”

“Your Doctor has restored my health completely, thank you for asking, Captain. I will see my Father now.”

Jim gestured towards the door of the shuttle and took Leonard’s arm, as if he wanted to support him, but Leonard shied away from the touch.

“Just…” he managed to say, omitting the _stop touching me_.

Spock turned towards there and wanted to take Leonard’s hand, when a voice, deep and strong, was heard from outside.

“Son!”

He finally stepped outside of the shuttle – there he was, his Father, beautiful like a god, dressed in white and green robes with an ample cloak.

He fell on his knees, at his feet.

“Father…”

“Spock, Spock…” the beautiful Vulcan murmured, love mixed with despair and relief. He pulled him up on his feet, cupping his face. “I thought I would never see you again, my child! Oh, my son, my heart,” he exclaimed. “Come, I am taking you home, to take care of you!”

“No, Father, wait, I beg of you,” Spock tried to say, but it was already too late, for the transporter sequence had commenced and the two Vulcan men dematerialized and vanished from Leonard and Jim’s sight…

Leonard grabbed Jim’s arm tight, because he felt he might lose consciousness at any moment now.

“Spock… Spock…” he murmured, lost.

There he had been – Spock, the Vulcan he had saved, the Vulcan he had grown to love in a matter of hours, his love, his love, his love – his lost love, gone now! Taken away from him!

The pain he was feeling, the despair were tearing him apart from within.

“Not even a thank you from the great Vulcan king,” Jim said bitterly, after which he turned towards his friend who seemed to feel sick all of a sudden. “Bones? You okay? You don’t look well – Medical Bay, send me a full team in the Shuttle Bay one at once!”

“Who was that man dressed in white – the Vulcan? The one who took Spock away?”

“King Sarek of Vulcan,” Jim said matter-of-factly, helping Leonard sit down. “Bones, what the hell did you do?” he then asked, looking at his friend and beginning to understand something very grave and important had been taking place and his friend was on the verge of losing his mind…

“King Sarek of Vulcan,” Leonard repeated, staring blankly. “Spock is the king’s son. Oh my god, oh my god. The King’s son. How could I have been so naïve, to think I have any chance…”

“Bones? What did you do, Bones? You gotta tell me, come on,” Jim insisted, signalling to the crash-team that had just arrived from Medical to give them a moment.

“He told me he loved me… he gave me a bond… a bond… there was no deceit…”

“Bones, oh God.”

“He did not lie to me, Jim. I saw his mind, his heart. He could not have lied. Just to take advantage of me? No – I cannot believe – “

“You fell in love with the Vulcan King’s son,” Jim finally managed to put two and two together.

Leonard turned his head towards Jim, becoming more aware of his surroundings.

“Yes,” he answered simply.

He felt his body become weak and he just gave in to the overwhelming nausea, letting his friend catch him in his arms. He closed his eyes as they were taking him to Medical Bay – strange to be going there on a stretcher…

*

“Father, please, I beg of you, we must return – I have left my mate there, please, I promised I would not abandon him,” Spock almost screamed at his Father, trying to break free from the strong arms holding him, as if he could actually run away through the vast, empty space and reunite with Leonard.

“Son. Son, Son – please, calm yourself. What mate are you talking about? I believe that your mind is too strained by the ordeal you have been through and you are confusing things.”

“Leonard – Leonard! Le-o-nard!!!” Spock gasped, collapsing at Sarek’s feet.

“Who is Leonard, Son?” Sarek asked kneeling near him and trying to lift him up.

“My bondmate, Leonard – please – I cannot – “

Sarek frowned. A bondmate? How had his Son, his Heir, acquired a bondmate? And a human male, for all it mattered? He extended one hand towards his son’s face, to meld and read the truth there, in his mind, but Spock jerked away.

“NO!”

“Son, what is this?” Sarek asked, on a somewhat harsher tone. “Are you refusing me your mind?”

“You will take my bond away – I will not let you, nor anyone! Yes – I refuse to let you meld. You do not have my consent to touch my mind, even though I am well aware you can use force.”

Sarek felt deeply hurt by the words spoken by his son.

He straightened and arranged his robe.

“I will not force you in any way, Son, rest assured. I may be a King, but I am Vulcan first and foremost. And no Vulcan ever melded with another in the absence of valid consent, something which I doubt you are capable of giving right now as you are extremely confused. You have been through a great ordeal at the hands of the Cardassians and undoubtedly – “

“You did nothing – nothing!! – to get me out of there! I escaped through my own efforts – and then Leonard found me and saved my life – and restored my health.”

“And in return, you gave him a marriage bond…” Sarek stated.

“I – the bond – the bond formed by itself. It was… a force more powerful than both of us.”

“Son… this is a legend with no seeds of truth whatsoever. No bond forms by itself. Bonds are given, they are carefully weaved by one of the partners, using the entire mental energy accumulated through years of meditation and exercise. And you… wasted all these years by giving the highest bond to a… mere Human?”

Spock turned pale.

“I will never forgive you for these words!! YOU yourself gave the highest possible bond to Mother!! And she is Human too!!”

“Enough now. You will return with me to Vulcan and the healers will help remove this useless bond. You will see to your duties as the Vulcan heir and future king, and mate with your betrothed one, as we have established since your early childhood. Silence!” the king ordered, seeing that his son wanted to protest. “It is either this, or I will make sure the Enterprise never reaches its destination, or its future destinations, together with your… beloved Leonard.”


	6. Thou Art So Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friendly reminder that all chapter titles are exact references from Macbeth (the greatest thing ever written). Go read Macbeth. AnJoan Grey is a damn fool.

To say that Spock was in pain, it was an understatement. He was unable to do anything – sleep, eat, walk. Sarek had taken him back to Vulcan and with the help of his wife, Amanda, he was uselessly trying to feed his son.

“You have lost too much weight in prison, son. You must eat!” Sarek attempted one more time, extending the hand in which he held a spoon containing soup.”

“No… Leonard… Leonard!!”

“Spock, there is no Leonard.”

“Why, oh why are you torturing me like this, Father? Why, after all you have done to me, you continue to torture me? Was I not a good son?”

Resigned, Sarek left the spoon away.

“Spock. How can you even think that? You are a good son, and I am saddened that because of my political position, you were abducted and suffered so much heartache and pain at the hands of those who dared to take you away from us. But I am even more saddened to hear that you are blaming me for this personally.”

“If you weren’t a king, I would – “

“But I AM a king, Spock, and that cannot change. You have lived a privileged life and continue to live one so, despite this temporary misfortune. But you must now learn to let go of it and begin to heal.”

“You took my bondmate away from me!!!”

“Son, stop with this please. You met a random stranger who took advantage of you, took a bond from you and made you go through the pain of separation – not to worry, I will make sure he pays.”

Spock gathered all his strength and got out of the bed, pushing his father against a wall.

“What Did You Say? Do you imagine even for a moment that I will let you harm Leonard in any way?”

Sarek did not make any attempt to free himself from his son’s hands.

“Son, the marriage bond is the most revered bond of our culture. It is given after many years of getting to know your life-partner-to-be, after you have tested his character, you have verified his trust, the match of your minds and bodies. You cannot meet someone and give him a bond after two days. It is just… not how it is done. It lacks consistence, foundation, it is… a mere caprice. Not to mention, child, that as the king’s heir you have responsibilities towards me, your family, your race. You are a prince, Spock! You already have someone whom had been chosen for you since your early childhood and who waits to become your bondmate, to assist you and help you rule over Vulcan when your mother and I shall no longer be. This is how it is done. This is how it MUST be. You do not have the liberty to CHOOSE your life, Spock. You must do your duty.”

Spock released his Father, turning towards the beautiful Human woman standing aside, quiet and sad.

“Do you support him in this, Mother?”

She hesitated for a moment.

After which, she quietly left the room.

Spock removed his IDIC royal necklace from around his neck and let it fall on the marble floor with a clear, terrible noise. He looked straight into Sarek’s eyes.

“I, Spock of Vulcan, hereby renounce at my heritage and refuse to name myself your child anymore. I will leave and you will let me, or you shall be responsible for my death.”

Sarek reigned in his sorrow and looked into his son’s eyes with deep sadness.

“Do not do this, Spock, you are my only child. What will come of our world, if you leave?”

“I do not care. I will never set foot on Vulcan again.”

Spock wrapped himself in a robe and left the house.

 

To say that Leonard was in pain, it would have been an understatement as well. No, Leonard was mad with pain. As soon as Spock had been taken away from him, he had collapsed, overwhelmed by exhaustion, turmoil, depression and inner pain.

He could not live without Spock, and now he had to – somehow.

Jim was also mad with worry, first because he loved his friend and could not stand to see him in so much pain; second, because they were to go on a very delicate mission quite soon and he needed his CMO back on his feet.

Well, it looked like Leonard was not going to get back on his feet anytime soon.

For weeks, he remained in the medical bay, and Jim had no choice but to return to the Bridge and to his duties; not bearing to see him torture himself like that, one morning he just connected a call to Vulcan, to King Sarek, using all his influence as a Starship Captain and also all the help he had been able to acquire for the task from his beloved friend and protector, Jonathan Archer, the current Head of Starfleet.

“Your Majesty, this is James T. Kirk, Captain of the Starship Enterprise.”

Sarek simply nodded, his eyes dark, his expression severe.

“I wish to speak to your Son, Spock, please.”

Sarek’s eyes became even darker.

“Why would you wish to talk to my son?”

“Because my Chief Medical Officer, Leonard McCoy, my friend, is in extreme pain due to his actions, he suffers from great distress because of that… bond,” Jim almost spitted the word – “and I want this solved.”

Long seconds of silence passed by and Sarek merely looked at him, no emotion traversing his eyes.

“I am sorry for the pain of your co-worker, but I no longer have a son. I wish you to live long and prosper, Mr. Kirk. Sarek out.”

“What do you mean – what the hell, wait!” Jim snapped, but it was too late, the communication was already over. What the hell did he mean, he _no longer had a son_? Oh gosh, Spock must have died!  Oh, how to break the news to Leonard, now!

He placed his hands together as if praying, walking and murmuring nonsense by himself, hovering all over the bridge, distraught.

“I wonder if he died or the ‘great king’ has killed him himself…”

“I do not think so, Keptin,” the young pilot Pavel Chekov told Jim, saddened by the state of agitation his Captain was in. “Wulcans do not kill – and even more so, their own children. I have studied at their Academy and they are honourable people. I checked their database now as I still have access and there is no record of the Prince Spock of Vulcan having died. There would have been planetary funerals and there is not even a mention. I believe he may have disinherited him or perhaps something else…”

Jim listened to him carefully – there was logic in what he was saying. The Vulcan King’s son couldn’t simply die and that would be it – no, something else was going on here. Something equally wrong for that matter.

Days later, Leonard got out of the biobed and decided to just start doing something. He so wanted to die, but he had too much respect for life to actually do it himself so since it hadn’t happened, that meant the universe still had plans for him – oh well. He would get very drunk and attempt to forget Spock for the next 50 years or whatever.

 

Jim got on his motorcycle and drove to a bar.

It did not take him long to locate a sad, pale figure, working in a corner. His face was hot and sweaty and he wore dirty clothes and Jim was quite sure no one would recognize the former Vulcan prince. He had made use of all his skills, relations, acquaintances and tracking means to locate the Vulcan who had found refuge on Earth, unable to build a life for himself by other means than working in a countryside bar – on Earth, of all planets, because this was… well… Leonard’s planet.

“This is not a good place for a prince to be in,” Jim told him.

Spock backed up until he hit a wall.

“Easy… easy… I am not going to hurt you… I am Leonard’s friend, his Captain… remember me? When you got off the shuttle?”

“Leonard… is here??” he gasped.

“NO, no! No. He is not. Leonard cannot see you like this. He feels betrayed by what happened and he is in great pain.”

“Leonard…” Spock murmured, lost.

“Want him back?”

Spock took a deep breath, feeling calmer and more composed.

“Leonard is the reason I am alive, he is my every thought and my every heart-beat, Captain. To even ask me if I want him back…”

“Enlist in Starfleet.”

“W-what?”

“Tomorrow at 8 o’clock report o Riverside to my friend, Christopher Pike. He is waiting for you. Study hard for a few months! I will retrieve you from there as soon as I can.”

For a while, Spock just looked into his eyes – with hope.

“Why… why are you doing this?”

“Because every single being in this universe needs a friend in times of need. And for you and Leonard, I am that person.”

“Is he… in good health? Will you look after him?”

“I am looking after him, but you must look after yourself in the months to come. If he saw you like this, he would never forgive himself.”

“I do not even have enough credits to buy a ticket for Riverside.”

“There is a good motorcycle outside. Here are the keys – oh, and please wear the helmet,” Jim said with a smile, placing the keys in the helmet and the helmet in the Vulcan’s hands.

“Thank you… Captain,” Spock said somewhat more confidently.

And Jim thought those words sounded really good. Yes – he would take care of them. There were wounds and wounds; Leonard had tended to those wounds from enemy hands; now, it was Jim’s turn to heal the broken hearts and put them back together.

Jim did not believe love was even possible for himself; but he believed in the everlasting force of friendship, and he had the certainty that if his best friend, Leonard, had grown to love the Vulcan Spock in such a short time, then he was a being worth… saving. He would not let him perish. He would not let their love waste. Not as long as his name was Jim Kirk.


	7. That Trusted Home

Spock may have denied his heritage and rejected his own parents, but that did not mean that all he had worked for in his life so far - had been suddenly erased. He had studied at the Vulcan Science Academy for three years. After having been abducted imprisoned by his Father’s enemies, he had not given a second thought to his studies. But now, as life was starting anew and hope once more kindled into his soul, he did not want to waste precious time.

That early morning, he used Jim Kirk’s motorcycle and arrived in Riverside just in time. Christopher Pike was indeed aware of his arrival and thus, he embarked upon the shuttle that would take him to Starfleet Academy. He was rather impatient to get there and as soon as he did, he got out of the stained clothes he was wearing and took a nice, long shower before dressing into the Uniform.

 

It was extraordinary, he thought. He had come to Earth driven by one and only thought – that of looking for Leonard, of being reunited with his love. But he had been naïve, so naïve. Earth was big; the Enterprise was nowhere near; he did not know where Leonard’s house on Earth was – how negligent of him not to have extracted this precious piece of information from his mind, during melding! – he did not even have his communicator code, to exchange a few words or send a text message.

He was on Earth, but he had nothing. And since he no longer was Sarek’s child, he had no credits and no means to even pay for his food and shelter. It did not take a whole lot of time for him to realise that he needed to take care of the most urgent necessities – food and a roof above his head. The “Now Hiring” sign right outside of an eating and drinking establishment seemed to be providential. He had gone inside and asked for work.

“You look familiar,” the establishment owner had said, looking at the Vulcan dubiously.

“All Vulcans look the same,” Spock said, which was of course not very accurate – at least, well, they all had brown eyes and pointy ears, so one could say they had similar features.

“You’ll have to start low; I need a hand with cleaning, doing the dishes and a bit of help in the kitchen. My Chef complains he is working too much. I will pay you 1.75 credits an hour.”

Spock had no idea if that was good or bad.

“I am very good at cleaning,” he said, because it was true, he was rather obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness and order like all Vulcans – it was illogical not to keep a clean and orderly house – to the point where his mother Amanda would call both him and Sarek _two maniacs_. Well, it looked like this mania would help him earn a living. “I will accept a payment of one credit per hour and a place to sleep.”

The patron thought it was his lucky day – or night, it did not matter; he knew Vulcans were honest and hardworking. He gave him a small room on the second floor, small and rather dirty, to sleep in, and a change of old clothes, because really, one could not clean whilst wearing a Vulcan robe.

Life had been simple and difficult at the same time for a while – Spock was saving all the credits he earned in order to buy a padd, which he planned to use in order to locate Leonard, because at the _restaurant_ – as he later on found out that the establishment was called – there was no console which would be free to use.

_And then, Jim Kirk came._

Spock had left the restaurant – but not by simply walking away from there. He was grateful to the owner, the man who had offered him a hand when he needed it the most. He spent a few hours cleaning everything spotless and scrubbing the floors within an inch of life; he said goodbye, live long and prosper, and thank you, and then left without turning back.

 

“The first semester is always difficult,” Pike told him a few days after the enrolment. “You must get used to everything and make new friends.”

“I do not wish to make new friends.”

“Make at least one,” Pike smiled pleasantly. “Everyone needs a friend. Someone they can trust. Someone who would have their back.”

“I have Jim.”

“He is attractive, I agree with you…”

“No, he is – it is not that! He is my friend.”

“I know, I know. Listen, I validated and equivalated your VSA classes with those in Starfleet, and in two months, if you pass all exams and physical trainings, you will be transferred to the third year and advanced to Lieutenant-Commander. I sent the curricula to your padd.”

“Thank you, Captain Pike. By any chance, do you know where the Enterprise is?”

“They are in the delta quadrant, they are scheduled to return in six months.”

Spock made a rapid calculation – 182 days without Leonard!

Would Leonard still be there, at the end of these long 182 days? Will he still remember him?

It hurt, it hurt so much, but what was he to do? He would only wait… and hope that Leonard would still love him! And If he forgot him, Spock would spend the rest of his miserable life trying to regain his affection, in any way possible – because he could not exist without him.

“Are you alright, Spock?”

“If I may make an inquiry, Captain?”

“You may.”

“Why are you being so kind to me?”

“Because Jim asked me to.”

“That is hardly a reason.”

“You may think so; but I believe you shall grow to find out that for Jim Kirk you would do anything, anything at all; if he wants the moon, believe me I will take it from the sky and give it to him.”

“The Earth’s natural satellite has such dimensions that the endeavour of ‘taking it’ from the sky…” Spock began to say, his eyes widened.

“Spock, Spock. Spock. It was a metaphor. I am not going to offer Jim Kirk the moon.”

“I sincerely hope not, Captain. The endeavour would cause a loss of gravitational pull, the waves of the oceans would disappear, which would lead to the disappearance of many marine species, earthquakes and volcano eruptions would manifest much more often, whereas the climate…”

“God help me,” Pike mumbled, after which he left – really, Vulcans could be so, so annoying when they wanted. He was just out of luck sometimes. But he had promised Jim he would look after him and he was determined to keep his promise at whatever costs. Even if it meant to hear endless scientific presentations about the effects of stealing the moon from the sky and offering it to Jim Kirk (he just loved that kid…)

 

Leonard did not feel well at all, but he was trying to keep it together, no matter how hard it was, because what else was he supposed to do in that tin prison of him? People depended on him; every so often he had to repair the bones which Jim was breaking (he really needed more calcium, that kid!)

He had to forget Spock, bond or no bond. That stupid bond, ever pulsating in his head and reminding him of… those moments of bliss and happiness, of pure joy which they had lived together… tragic, beautiful and stupid, Leonard thought. What beauty was there in such suffering?

He had started drinking a bit – but the end result was that Jim Kirk – his very Captain and best friend – had locked him in the Brig for 48 hours and left him out of there under the condition that no alcohol would ever touch his lips again. It was blatant abuse, but it was not as if Leonard could complain to anyone. They were all alone in the delta quadrant, drafting stupid, useless maps, gosh, he hated Starfleet.

Spock had left him.

He could not get this out of his mind!!! Spock had left him. As soon as King Daddy had come, he had just jumped into the royal arms and gone they were, not giving a single second thought to Leonard.

“Bad day, huh?” Jim asked, coming to the dissection room where Leonard was just performing a standard Y incision on a corpse. Several other corpses looked as if Leonard was done with them, and Jim really did not want to know why the sheets covering them were so damn stained. Really, medicine was a messy business!

“For the love of God, put a mask on!!!”

“Yeah, cool,” Jim said agreeably and covered his mouth with a surgical mask.

“The last thing I need is you catching some stupid virus from over here.”

Jim ignored Leonard’s bad mood – he had gotten used to it by now.

“We’re heading home, y’know.”

“Great,” Leonard mumbled unhappily.

“You do not look particularly thrilled.”

“What the hell do I care where we’re going? I am miserable everywhere, and my only home is the shuttle which I have bought.”

“You still sleep in there?”

“That is my home. I’ll carry it with me everywhere.”

Leonard had spent all his savings in order to actually buy from Starfleet the shuttle in which he and Spock had spent _those_ days, the days which were forever engraved in his heart, in his memory. He would not let any other hands touch that sacred place which was only his, that place where he and Spock – where he and Spock had been so happy – no, that place was his sanctuary, his home.

At night, instead of actually going to his cabin, Leonard would go to the shuttle which was, of course, being kept in the pressurised shuttle-bay – and sleep in there, on _their_ bed, covering himself with the blanket that had touched Spock’s skin – he was perhaps pathetic, but his soul needed this. Jim was quite understanding about this and Leonard was grateful.

“You still think of him?”

Leonard angrily sectioned the coronary arteries of the heart he was staring at.

“Okay,” Jim added. “Good thing he’s already dead.”

“Get out. I need to dissect this heart, see what the hell’s inside. He died of an infarct, this poor guy.”

“I’ll go, I’ll go. But please, Bones, if you trust me just a little. Stop dissecting your own heart. Spock did not want to leave you – he was forced to.”


	8. New Horrors Come Upon Him

It seemed that Jim knew more about Spock than himself, Leonard thought. Spock had not left him out of his own volition – Jim had said. He had been forced to. By whom – by that tall, beautiful King who was his Father.

But then – why hadn’t he attempted to contact him in any way – why hadn’t he sent a single text message, anything at all? Okay, fine – he was the King’s son and maybe he had obligations and stuff – but still, even so, if he wanted, he could ask for his Father’s permission for a simple _good bye_ or _let me explain_ phone call. There were always means, Leonard knew it, if one really wanted to accomplish something. Spock did not seem to want to try hard enough, he did not fight for him – and no, Leonard could not forgive him.

But what if his Father was mistreating him? What if Spock was once more being held prisoner in some dungeon, against his will, and –

“Stop it. You are on the self-destruct mode,” Jim said, sitting down heavily near him. He did not want to give his friend any false hopes, so he chose not to tell him about how he had found Spock and about how he had sent him to enlist in Starfleet. He was not sure Spock had actually trusted him enough so as to actually do it; he hoped he had, though.

“Huh?”

“Stop analysing. I told you. He did not leave you out of his own choice.”

“If you know something more and you do not tell me, Jim, I swear…”

“We are almost home, Bones. Soon we’ll be within communications range with both Vulcan and Earth. I will make sure you are able to talk to him as soon as it is possible, would that be okay? I mean, you want to talk to the guy?”

“Do I want to – talk to the guy?” Leonard asked exasperated – it was more of a rhetorical question. He took a fistful of his own hair – very often, he had this urge of simply hurting himself, so that he would feel something else rather than the excruciating pain devastating his soul. “The _guy_ owns my heart, my life…” he added, defeated his eyes teary.

“However he managed that, I will congratulate him,” Jim said, trying to chase away his friend’s sadness. “I’ve always wanted to steal your heart, and there _he_ comes and does it in two days.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Leonard smiled between his tears. “I don’t believe you wanted to steal my heart. You’re like my brother, for God’s sake.”

“So??? I’m a sinful, incestuous big brother.”

“I’m older than you.”

“Oh, right. Then, little brother. But still sinful and incestuous.”

Leonard actually started to laugh a bit.

Jim was indeed awesome. He was so young – God, was he even 22?? The entire crew was young – Pavel was 17 (gosh, 17!!!!) but a 22-year-old Captain was just – utterly ridiculous??? Not that he was not absolutely awesome, one of the best Captains Starfleet ever had, and a certified genius. When there was work to do, Jim would transform into a thinking machine, extrapolating vast possibilities and calculating everything in his mind at amazing velocities… His brain was operating at Warp 10.

“Stop. Thinking. Of. Him.” Jim said between his teeth.

“I was thinking of you, Crazy!”

“Oh! Really? Promise?”

Leonard just rolled his eyes and went to the Medical Bay. Really, he had work to do. But he had to admit he did feel better – he himself was not immune to Jim’s… charm or whatever it was.

 

To say Spock was making good progress at the Academy, it would have been an understatement. He was doing nothing else but study and train, train and study. He had enrolled in every course which would help him get on a Starship fast – Command, Piloting Engineering, Xenolinguistics, Computer Programming – in which he excelled to a point where the Senate asked him to design a test for all cadets to go through upon graduation.

Spock got to work and in the next few days he came with an elaborated computer simulation that was designed to test not so much the knowledge and abilities of command of those who took it, but rather their emotional response, their composure, their courage after all.

Needless to say, no one passed the test.

The test quickly became a legend, and Spock named it “The Kobayashi Maru” test, after the name of his Japanese Martian Arts professor, whom no one had ever defeated in combat.

“I know one person who’ll take this test,” Pike said, looking at the large LCD display which showed the test in progress where a few students were trying their best to counteract a simulated Klingon attack.

“If ever one person shall pass this test, I shall rename the test after him or her,” Spock said calmly.

“Then the odds are you shall name it _The Jim Kirk Test._ ”

“But Captain Kirk is no longer a student, there is no need for him to take this test.”

“Wait until he hears that there is a test which no one passes… he’ll show up at your door.”

Spock looked downwards.

“I would give anything to have James Kirk show up at my door as you say, Sir, for that would mean Leonard would not be very far away either.”

Spock had informed Christopher Pike of the situation regarding Leonard McCoy and of the fact that the relations between him and his Father, Sarek, had severely deteriorated. He trusted Pike, perhaps because he had sensed in him an ally and who knew… maybe a friend.

Pike was smiling, his elbows leaned upon a fence, looking in the distance.

“Here they come…”

“Captain?”

“The Enterprise. They will soon dock.”

Spock’s heart-beat accelerated immensely in just a few seconds. He stared in the distance but he could see nothing!

“How can you tell, Captain?”

“Pike smiled and turned towards him.

“They just transmitted they would be docking in seven minutes, Spock,” he said, showing him a padd. “Come on, I have my car down in the parking lot. Let’s go to the docking bay. There is someone I know you need to see immediately.”

Spock followed him impatiently; he could not wait to arrive to the docking bay as soon as possible, even though he knew the disembarking procedures took hours… at least he would be closer to Leonard, closer…

As the ship itself was approaching, Spock could sense the bond brightening in his mind progressively, like a bridge touched by the first rays of sun in the morning. It was blissful and painful, and fear, love and despair overtook him once more. Leonard may not even remember him – who knew?

He was staring at the large, majestic ship landing. Leonard was inside!!! And he was well and healthy, he could assess his well-being through the bond.

“McCoy is known to throw epic temper-tantrums,” Christopher felt compelled to tell him. “Are you ready for that?”

“I am ready for anything,” he said with honesty. “I am ready for him not to even remember me, to have forgotten me completely; there have been six months, translating to 182 days, it is possible. I am also ready for him to hate me. To hit me. To curse me. To blame me – I am to blame.”

“Hold on a second, my communicator’s beeping,” Pike said, taking the device out of his pocket and flipping it open. “Pike here.”

<Captain Pike, Sir> a panicked voice proceeded to give a hasty report. <We have received an emergency transmission from Vulcan, Sir. They are being under attack and require immediate assistance. King Sarek of Vulcan transmitted that the attackers have opened fire upon largely inhabited areas and there are lots of victims Sir. We are dispatching the entire Fleet. Admiral Archer is sending the Enterprise too.>

Spock had frozen upon hearing the entire communication.  Vulcan – under attack? Unknown enemies firing at civilians? Millions of innocent lives - ??”

“Pike to James Kirk, come in please.”

<Kirk here. We are receiving a distress call and instructions to assist Vulcan.>

“I am aware. I have one Vulcan citizen here, who will assist you, Commander Spock. He is standing by to be beamed up.”

<Going to Transporter Room right now.>

Spock had completely frozen – so many changes in only a few seconds – Vulcan under attack – Father – Mother – will see Leonard – ‘Commander Spock’?

“I am not holding the rank of a Commander,” that was all he managed to tell Pike.

“You do now,” Pike told him kindly, removing two signees from his own uniform and placing them near the one Spock was already wearing on his uniform. “Congratulations, Commander. Now go and help Vulcan. Don’t turn your back on your Parents and on your people.”

“No. Yes,” Spock said, unsure to what he was replying, too troubled to even think.

The last thing that Christopher Pike did was to place a Starfleet badge on Spock’s chest, which served to locate life-signs for teleportation and soon after, Kirk transmitted: _Energizing_.

Spock closed his eyes, he disliked the transporter technology, as illogical as that was. You did not feel anything during the process as is was almost simultaneous. It felt as if upon the blink of an eye, the room just changed, the body in itself did not experience any discomfort whatsoever.

However, upon opening his eyes, he saw James T. Kirk, standing right in front of him, waiting impatiently for the transporter sequence to finish.

“Welcome aboard, Commander. To the Bridge at once, please.”


	9. So Foul and Fair a Day I Have Not Seen

Spock did not really have time to structure his thoughts and think of what was more urgent; he was under the command of a Captain who gave precise, strict orders; it was not for him to decide. But everything inside him screamed that Leonard was here, he was close and he would – sooner or later – _see_ him…

He followed James Kirk to the Bridge. The Captain sat on the Commanding Chair and transmitted a set of coordinates to the helm officer.

“Set a course to Vulcan, Warp 5. Punch it.”

“Yes, Keptin,” the young Pavel Chekov acknowledged.

The low vibration of the warp engine let them know they were on their way.

“Doctor McCoy, report to the Bridge at once,” Jim transmitted through his communicator.

Spock’s heart-beat largely accelerated! Leonardleonardleonard – his love – his bondmate, his life!

The turbolift doors opened and Leonard stepped on the Bridge.

Spock turned towards him, effectively not breathing – _Leonard!!!!!_ – his consciousness screamed. But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t rush to him and hold him – they were on duty and – and Vulcan was under attack – and- oh, what was he going to do??? All he wanted was to hold him, to hold him tight and never let him go and tell him he is the most important being in the world!!!

“Doctor McCoy,” Jim began officially.

But the Doctor had simply frozen, staring at Spock in pure, complete disbelief as if he had seen a ghost. What was this? How could this be? What was Spock doing here, dressed in Starfleet Uniform and – oh hell, holding the rank of a Commander, which meant he held a higher rank that even himself? Was this a joke??

“What?” he managed to reply to Jim, still staring at Spock, unable to actually look aside.

“This is Commander Spock. He has joined us just know, and he will assist us in our mission to help Vulcan.”

“I know who _Commander Spock_ is,” Leonard said between his teeth. “Why did you leave me, you bastard!!! You heartless, senseless bastard?? How could you do this to me? Do you have any idea –“ Leonard’s fury had unleashed with the force of a tsunami, grief and anger washing over him and making him lose all control.

It was all that Spock feared the most. Leonard hated him – he knew that. He should have known. Leonard thought he had left him, and here he was hopping back onto his life, wanting to… wanting what? To be accepted? To be forgiven?

“That Is Enough, Doctor McCoy!” Jim snapped at him, standing up while everyone else on the Bridge was just staring at them, and hadn’t he been so angry, Leonard would have certainly felt very much ashamed by his outburst. “If you are incapable of doing your job aboard this ship, during the current critical mission, you shall be released of duty,” the Captain added harshly.

Leonard could not believe his ears. Was it Jim, his Jim, his brother and best friend who was talking to him like that?

“I apologize, _Captain._ It will certainly not happen again.”

Spock continued to look at Leonard, trying to convey through that look, as well as through their bond, all his love, his longing, his despair…

Jim gave both of them another harsh look, after which he opened a ship-wide broadcast channel and announced the mission parameters. The planet Vulcan was under attack and they were to offer immediate assistance.

“We are most likely going to have to offer medical assistance. Doctor McCoy, please prepare for incoming casualties. Mr. Spock, go with him and make sure he has all the medical data he needs in order to treat Vulcans. He may need to scan you.”

“Yes, Captain,” the two replied professionally even if both their souls were ravaged by storms known just by them – and they left the Bridge.

As soon as they were in the elevator, Spock wrapped his arms around Leonard in a fierce embrace…

“Leonard… my beloved!”

Leonard tensed and pushed him away abruptly, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was just to hold him too, embrace him, never let him go!

“Get off me, _Commander,_ ” he said, on a mock tone.

“Leonard…” Spock said, feeling a slow, ever-growing despair that was overwhelming his heart. Leonard did not want him – Leonard rejected him.

“No, Sorry. No. You cannot just fucking walk back into my life after having abandoned me as if I were a stray dog. No. Sorry. Just – no.”

“I did not abandon you, Leonard… I was forced to…”

“I do not want to hear anything. We’ll go to Medical, I’ll scan you and that’s it. I wanna get this mission done with and go on with my life.”

Spock covered his face with his hands for a moment, as if he wanted to hide from the entire world.

“Leonard. You are everything to me, you are my entire life,” he said softly, even though Leonard was not listening and he said he did not want to hear a word.

Indeed, Leonard had no reaction at all, he just remained there, waiting for the turbolift to stop. Yeah – Spock was here. The bastard thought he could just erase all that pain with an embrace – he thought he could just abandon him and return to him to – what, god? To _retrieve_ him? To get him back and mock at him again? To break his heart all over again?

The turbolift doors opened and Leonard went out.

“This way, Commander,” he told him coldly.

Spock felt his very blood freeze in his veins. Such a great love, shattered… he followed him, on very shaky feet, and once they arrived in the Medical bay, Leonard took a portable scanner, with angry gestures, and pointed it at Spock.

“Please, hold still, Commander, I will scan you so that I can see the configuration of your internal organs. After which you may return to the Bridge.”

Spock took a deep breath to calm down. There was nothing else to do but to comply. Leonard switched the medical device on and scanned him quickly and efficiently, from head to toes, saving the data.

“You may go now, Commander. I am sure the Captain needs you on the Bridge. Thank you for your… valuable input.”

Spock lowered his eyelids for a moment, as if chocked by an emotion too big for him to handle – and was it not so, in fact?

“Doctor,” he said politely, after which he left. There was nothing else to be done here.

Leonard wanted to just smash everything, right there, right there, right there!!!! He just hated, hated, hated – and worshiped him! The bastard!!! And Jim – why had he brought him on the ship, just to torture him even more, after all he had been through??

Leonard felt cold, all of a sudden. He hugged himself – strange how he still felt Spock’s arms around him.

He switched on the medical scanner he had used to scan Spock, to take a look at the data. God, how thin he was, underneath that uniform! It was as if he had only been eating enough to survive. What if Jim had been right and Spock did not leave him on purpose?

He suddenly felt ashamed. He had not given him a single chance to talk, to explain. What if he had just shattered any possible chance to happiness?

Gosh, he felt like a complete idiot.

He abandoned the tricorder and went back to the Bridge.

 

Spock was standing near Jim and they were talking, analysing data on a console and plotting an action plan. Everyone was tense and worried and Leonard had no idea what was happening. He had not paid attention to the mission specs. Were they going to Vulcan? What for? Something like an attack was taking place?

An attack, yes. The planet Vulcan was under attack.

He looked at the view screen and then – he saw it.

 

The unknown enemy attacking Vulcan was just there, in plain sight. The ship looked oval, with sharp terminations like those of a drilling ship and for some reason, it reminded Leonard of a giant octopus. A predator, firing torpedoes at a planet which now stood defenceless.

“What The Hell?” he murmured.

“Fire,” Jim’s ordered came.

Leonard’s despair grew to unbearable limits when he saw that their weapons had no effect whatsoever upon the powerful enemy. He mindlessly came closer to the commanding chair – to Jim – to Spock.

“Incoming transmission,” the communications officer announced, and seconds after, before Jim could actually take a breath and prepare, the display showed a tall, strong Human figure, with dark skin and even darker eyes, an expression of pure evil, as if wanting to shatter them all to pieces right there and then.

“You are defenceless,” he spoke.

“I am James T. Kirk of the Federation Ship Enterprise. You have opened fire upon innocent people at the planet’s surface. What is your justification for this act of war?”

“My name is Nero. I do not need reasons to obliterate those who took my daughter away from me,” he stated.

“What are you talking about?”

“My daughter has been taken a prisoner 35 years ago, by a Vulcan. The time has come for them to pay.”

Spock felt he was just chocking. Vulcans took other beings prisoners? It was possible, he then thought. Vulcans were such beings, that they did not show much consideration to other people’s thoughts and emotions. They just took what they wanted, because _they knew better_ and Spock knew that the angry, desperate man which called himself Nero had all the right in the world to be angry – of course, this did not give him any right to kill.

There were not that many Humans on Vulcan, though.

“Please cease fire upon the planet, Sir. I will assist you in retrieving your daughter safely; do not risk injuring her as well,” Jim said, somewhat apologetically. He just wanted him to cease fire. “We will open a channel to King Sarek of Vulcan and begin negotiations. I have a Vulcan aboard who will ensure fluent communication.”

“Who?” Nero wanted to know, suddenly interested. If they had a Vulcan – he wanted him now.

“Spock of Vulcan,” Spock introduced himself, trying to sound calm and composed.

Nero’s eyes lit brightly.

“Spock of Vulcan, son of King Sarek?”

“Just… Spock of Vulcan,” Spock stated, and it all dawned on Leonard that instant – that Spock had renegaded his own Father and left home to be with him, the heartless, senseless Leonard McCoy who had just… pushed him away and out of his life.

 


	10. When Shall We Three Meet Again?

The first blast hit the Enterprise’s port nacelle, chopping a good half of it. Drive plasma began venting, and back in Engineering – Scotty did not know how to prevent he imminent explosion. Forcefields replaced missing parts of the ship, but the loss and the damage were already tremendous.

Jim had no idea what had made Nero attack them so quickly and so suddenly – they had done nothing to provoke him – they were having a dialogue – or so Jim thought. He just wanted to rush to a console and open a channel and just scream at him _Stop, you mad dog, you will not harm my crewmen!!!_

A dialogue with Nero – was it actually possible? He knew nothing about that man who was threatening them with obliteration – and yet he had to learn fast, the lives of so many people depended on his actions.

A dialogue…

Nero did not have _dialogues._ His time to talk had long been gone. Now, it was his time to _revenge._

“Shields up, red alert, battle stations!” Jim suddenly said, rushing to load a first batch of torpedoes himself and to open fire. But terror overtook him as he realized none of his weapons had any effect upon Nero’s ship which was much larger, much more complex and with strong shields the modulation of which Jim was quite sure they would not be able to hack.

It seemed, Jim observed, that Nero’s weapons and speed of reaction exceeded by far anything that he had ever seen.

The second blast hit the starboard side of the saucer-section, producing even more extensive damage. Before Scotty had any chance to redirect forcefields and install them in the areas where the structural integrity had been affected, several crew-members who were working in that area of the ship were sucked into space. Others were hit by metallic parts which were broken and thus severely or critically injured.

Nero’s face appeared on the screen immediately after.

He looked pleased, Jim noticed. The bastard, he looked calm, pleased and composed as if he had just accomplished a very great deed and not a savage act of war which had already taken lives – Jim was sure, by the agitation on Leonard’s face who was receiving casualty reports from all over the ship.

“Spock of Vulcan, the fate of your ship-mates is in your hands. Take a shuttle and come aboard my ship. You have ten standard minutes. If by the end of them you are not here, I will shatter the Enterprise to pieces, with you in it, AND THEN I will satisfy my pleasure of destructing Vulcan.”

“Destructing – Vulcan?” Spock said, shocked to the core of his being. What was he talking about, how could someone destroy an entire planet? The amount of explosions necessary to accomplish such an act was incalculable…

“Have your Captain scan my ship. You will notice a Decalithium torpedo aimed at the planet’s core.”

Spock looked at Jim for a second, asking for a confirmation – he hoped, he hoped… that it was not true. The Decalithium, a deadly, dangerous substance, had the ability to create spontaneous singularities which would consume everything around them. A single drop of the substance could absorb a supernova, a worm-hole or… an entire planet.

“He speaks the truth,” Jim confirmed, crushed.

“I am coming aboard your vessel,” Spock said immediately, after which he rushed out of the Bridge.

Leonard panicked as never in his life. He had to go to the Medical Bay immediately, there were people who needed him, but he couldn’t just move, he felt paralyzed – Spock was going there, on that ship, to that insane, cruel, senseless Nero – and he was doing nothing, nothing, nothing!!!

“Keep Leonard safe,” Spock said before the turbolift doors closed.

Leonard wanted to rush after him but Jim caught him in his arms and stopped him.

“There are 384 people aboard this ship, Bones. We have already lost 12. If he is our only chance of Nero ceasing fire, I will take that chance.”

“He will die – he will die!!!”

Leonard was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization of the fact that Spock’s death was imminent. Found – and lost again, grief washed over his soul – he had pushed Spock away, not giving him the slightest chance to explain, to say what had happened, why he had left _back then_. Blinded by his own fury and despair, Leonard had rejected him – because he just wanted to punish him in fact, to make him feel the same pain and anger he had felt as well.

And now, what did he have? He had nothing left! Nothing!!

Jim took Leonard in his arms and held him tight, approaching his lips onto his ear:

“Not on my watch. Now you will go to Medical and perform the triage – let me not tell you any other medial stuff you need to do because I am not good at those. Leave instructions and have your teams deal with everything, then return to the Bridge, I will need your help.”

“But Spock – “

“I’ve got him, Bones.”

With those words, which at the moment did not make much sense to Leonard’s troubled mind and soul, Jim rushed to catch up with Spock.

“Whatever happens, Captain,” the Vulcan said, starting the engines of the shuttle he would use to fly to Nero – “you must evacuate the Vulcan High Council. Their survival is of utmost importance. King Sarek of Vulcan is the keeper of our bonds – if he dies, our entire race will disappear.”

“Your Father, Spock.”

“He is no longer my Father – we went separate ways.”

“Then you are an idiot. That being said, listen carefully what your instructions are, Commander. You will arrive on Nero’s ship via this shuttle. You will memorize and transmit to me anything related to the interior of the ship. Ascertain the approximate position of the torpedo bay. I will come get you out.”

Spock looked at Jim as if he were half crazy.

“Captain, if I may. How will I transmit to you anything related to the interior of the enemy ship? It is very unlikely that we will be allowed to communicate in any way.”

“You will use your bond with Leonard to transmit information. You have a Vulcan bond, right? A High Vulcan Bond. The Highest.”

“Leonard rejected me.”

“When I said you were an idiot, I was surely not being mistaken. He has not rejected you. He is just momentarily being an idiot as well. But I will deal with the idiocy of you two a bit later. Right now, you will transmit information to Leonard through the bond.”

“But, Captain…”

“Are you going to obey my orders or not?” Jim snapped at him, starting to lose his patience.

“Yes, Captain,” he said resigned, then he sat on the piloting chair.

“Good, and one more thing, Spock.”

“Yes, Captain, I am listening.”

“I am ordering you to stay alive. Whatever the hell happens there, and I am sure things are gonna get nasty, do your best and do not get yourself killed. Buy me as much time as possible to draft an action plan and deal with everything. I need at least 15 minutes to get Sarek out and to come get you.”

“How exactly are you going to come and _get me_?” Spock inquired incredulously. “A shuttle would be detected immediately and destroyed. You cannot leave this ship without its Captain. The people need you.”

“Who said I was going to take a shuttle? I’m going to jump.”

The young Captain had definitely gone insane, Spock thought. He did not comment Jim’s affirmation in any way and closed the shuttle door, proceeding towards Nero’s ship. Now was the time to be brave, he thought – and he knew only one way to do that – thinking of Leonard.

His logical mind told him that he was heading towards certain death. However, there was a part of him which kept saying that this was not the end and he could trust Jim Kirk’s word.

Jim had always kept his word. Jim was trustworthy. Spock knew he had earned a friend, and his only regret was that he would not get to enjoy this friendship which, most certainly, will have been a legendary one.


	11. Valiant Fury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vicious beating (not very graphic) ahead. Please skip chapter if you do not want to read depictions of violence.

Nero's desire for revenge had never diminished through the years. It was his only desire - to punish those who had done him harm. All of them. The entire planet. Because his fury was too immense to be settled by the punishing and harming of a sole individual.

When Spock arrived aboard his ship, he was greeted with a few strong hits over his face and stomach which made the young Vulcan fall. 

Spock was more than used to the beatings and tortures and was expecting them. He had prepared his mind to block away all exterior stimuli, in order to be able to survive without further provoking the angry Nero. 

He had promised Jim he would stay alive and he wanted to - he really wanted to, because he needed to see Leonard again, his love, his lost love, he just wanted to see him again, even if Leonard had pushed him out of his life. He would say good bye properly and let Leonard live his life in peace, but he -

A sudden strike over his face interrupted the stream of thoughts.

"Speak when asked to, Vulcan! Are you not the son of Sarek of Vulcan, the King?"

"I was," he managed to say.

"What do you mean  _you were_?? You either are, or you are not!"

Spock coughed and a small stream of blood started to leak out of his nose.

"Vulcans..." he began to speak.

"Vulcans!!!" Nero exclaimed as if almost spitting the word. "A race I cannot wait to obliterate! Speak, what about Vulcans??"

Spock tried to ignore the burst of fury, but it was hard... such hatred! 

"Vulcans put bonds above the blood connection. I no longer share a paternal bond with King Sarek of Vulcan therefore I am not his child anymore."

"Are you aware of the atrocities your precious king has done?"

"As any other being, he has made his share of mistakes, but I am unfamiliar with any atrocities."

"ATROCITIES!!!" Nero screamed in his face, and striking him hard again, just because he could. "He has taken my only child and abused her and kept her a prisoner for more than 30 years!!"

"You are delusional," Spock managed to say. "I have lived with him for more than 30 years and I have never witnessed any such act of savagery, nor have I seen any prisoners in our household."

"AMANDA GRAYSON!!!" he yelled again as if he had gone completely insane and had lost all control upon his own mind. "Do you know who she is???"

Spock swallowed hard, trying to control his emotions, but it was getting increasingly difficult. 

"She is my Mother," he said softly.

"And MY DAUGHTER!!!!!"

Spock felt everything around him was spinning. The thought that his beloved Mother was related to this monster not only worried him, but it made him effectively want to vomit. He was face to face with his grandfather, and it proved to be an angry, vicious, cruel and insane man who only lived for revenge.

"Open a channel to Sarek of Vulcan right now!!!" Nero further snapped at one of his soldiers. The time to set things straight has come and he has to answer for what he has done."

Spock's heart trembled when he saw the figure of his Father. He wanted to warn him, to tell him that he was facing a monster who--

"SAREK of Vulcan", Nero spoke with satisfaction. "The doomsday has arrived."

"You have opened fire upon a planet of unarmed, defenceless people who have brought you no harm. Explain this act of war," Sarek spoke, unfazed.

Nero just laughed in his face, he extended one hand to his right and grabbed Spock by his hair, dragging him violently in front of the view screen, so that Sarek could see him."

It was all it took for Sarek's composure to collapse instantly. He came closer, despair, worry and grief overwhelming him at the sight of his son - because for him, Spock had never ceased to be his son, his only son.

"What have you done to my child...?"

"You, worm," Nero spitted - and he hit Spock once again with his foot, straight in his stomach, making him collapse. "What have you done to mine?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't know, do you? Well then, let me tell you a little story, Vulcan. I had one child, a daughter, the light of my eyes. I sent her to the University where she was studying biology, where she had the misfortune of meeting you. You took her away from me and I never even heard from her again! You stole her, you THIEF!!! You stole her and abused her for years!  AMANDA!!! Where is my child???"

Sarek took a deep, deep breath.

"Please, I beg of you. Let go of Spock. He has nothing to do with this. I will come in his place and you will do with me as you please."

"No, Fath--" Spock began to say but he was rewarded with another strike onto his right knee which made him scream in pain.

"As tempting as it is, no, you will suffer much more upon seeing him break every bone in your son's body. But perhaps I will spare your people. Bring me my daughter!!!"

"I have not stolen, not abused your daughter," Sarek said, taking Amanda's hand and gently bringing her into view. I loved her from the first moment I saw her; a bond formed spontaneously and united us forever. She is my wife, my queen and the love of my life. I have never abused her."

Amanda could do nothing but burst into tears upon seeing the miserable state Spock was in.

"Please - don't harm him..."

"Do not cry, my daughter, your ordeal is over, I have come to save you, and I will wipe out of the face of this planet all those who harmed you."

"Please stop, what have you done???"

Nero's mind was too troubled to even comprehend what was going on. It only mattered that he was now able to get his Amanda back and punish those he thought were responsible. 

“Will get you out of there in no time, Amy,” he said, pressing a few buttons.

“You will not, you senseless brute!!!” she screamed in terror, throwing herself in Sarek’s arms. “Please don’t let him –“

Nero straightened.

This was an unexpected surprise. Amanda – taking refuge in the arms of her abuser? Amanda did not want to be saved? Amanda, his child, his only child, for whom he had started a war, had just called him a _senseless brute_?

“Amanda, let go of that treacherous, despising tyrant who had abused you for so many years,” Nero said warningly.

“ABUSED me?” she screamed at him, holding on to Sarek tightly. “He is the love of my life and my reason for being! You were the one who abused me and abandoned me, you who have no right to call yourself a Parent! You know nothing about what being a Father is all about!”

It was all that Nero could take. With a terrible scream that had nothing human and which resembled that of an animal in agony, he slammed his hands onto the console near him and opened fire once more upon the innocent people beneath.

“I will KILL you ALL,” he said, his face red. “Fire everything we’ve got!” he then addressed his first officer. “I will wipe out the entire POPULATION of this doomed world!!!”

It was time, Spock thought.

He took a good look at the consoles around him. One of them displayed the shield modulation of Nero’s ship: 257.4 MhZ. He focused his entire mental energy upon Leonard and began transmitting.


	12. Be Not Lost So Poorly In Your Thoughts

Leonard had just come to the Bridge, because Jim had paged him to be there as soon as the triage in Medbay was over. All of a sudden, he simply collapsed on his knees.

It scared the hell out of Jim – even more than the vicious attack which was taking place before his very eyes. He knew very well that his friend’s reaction was due to something organic, important and perhaps life-threatening.

He stood up and came to him at once.

“Bones? Talk to me, Bones. What is it?”

“My hhhhhhead,” he managed to say.

“Yeah? What’s with your head? Talk to me, it hurts?”

“Yes… no…”

“Bones, this is important,” Jim said, kneeling near him and cupping his head. “Can you hear Spock?”

Leonard blinked at him a few times. What did Jim mean – could he hear Spock? Spock had gone _there_ – he could not hear anyone – how

And then – he understood what Jim had asked. Yes, he could hear Spock!!! Perhaps _hear_ was not the best word – he could sense him in his consciousness, in his mind, as if their thoughts had merged – for all heavens’ sake, he could see deep in Spock’s consciousness!

“Wait, Jim – give me a moment,” he said with difficulty as his own mind was adjusting, his dormant telepathic centres activating all too suddenly. It was an overwhelming experience – to reside in two bodies, in two minds, to be one and yet two – and Leonard could finally experience for himself Spock’s pain, his grief and loneliness, but most of all, he could feel his love, everlasting, strong and beautiful like a flower – he started crying.

“No – Bones, nono. We do not have time. I must get him out of there. You must tell me what he is transmitting, any kind of schematics, coordinates, numbers of any kind? Come on, Bones stay with me, buddy, talk to me.”

Leonard tried to focus, everything was still blurry though.

{Numbers?} he asked tentatively, within his mind, even though he was not at all sure this would work. Telepathic conversations… for fuck’s sake!

{Yes, Ashayam. 257.4 MhZ.}

The sudden reply made Leonard see black for a moment. Luckily for him, Jim was right there, shaking him and not letting him _lose it._

“What, Bones, what, what?”

“I can’t understand what he says. But I… uh – _perceive_ this thing, 257.4 MhZ. Don’t know what it is.”

“Shield modulation to 257.4 MhZ, Mr. Scott,” Jim told his Engineer who had come to the Bridge, standing aside and waiting for his Captain’s instructions.

“Aye, targeting their shields and warp core engine,” the young Scotsman said.

“Don’t blow them up, Scotty, need to get Spock out of there!”

A sudden blast, followed by another, disabled Nero’s shields and took away a good part of their hull.

“Good shot, Mr. Scott! Can you locate Spock?”

“Aye, I can read a Vulcan life-sign, but he is near the antimatter chamber, I cannae transport him outta there.”

“I need to move him away from there, how many metres?”

“A few good 25 metres so that the transporter sequence does not interfere with the antimatter flux, a case in which everything will blow up, us and them.”

“Let’s not do that,” Jim decided. “You have the Bridge. I’ll go get Spock out of there. Stand by to transport us both.”

Jim left the Bridge, followed by Leonard who was trying to stop him, perhaps? Leonard was not exactly sure, but he only knew Jim’s plan was completely crazy.

“How the hell are you going to get Spock out of there, you freak?”

“Gonna space-jump.”

Jim was good at space-jumping. He had always earned all championships and contests which had been organized at the Academy. It reminded him of bungee-jumping, except it was much more intense, much more dangerous and if you hit something – you were rather gone.

“I forbid you to do that, you, crazy!!! You’re gonna smash your head on Nero’s vessel and leave this ship without its captain just when it needs you the most!!!”

“No, I won’t, Bones. I’ve got this. I am going to get Spock out of there. Please go back to the bridge and make sure Scotty beams us back on one piece. And if you manage to obtain any other piece of information from Spock, please communicate it to me at once.”

“But – “

“One more _but_ and I will consider it insubordination.”

That was all Leonard could take. He just turned on his feet and left, it was a lost cause to convince Jim of changing his mind anyway. Insubordination, yeah right. As if he fucking cared about that right now.

As he was walking back to the bridge, he focused his attention on Spock once more. All he could feel was love, love, love… their bond was flooded with love, longing and hope. He had been so stupid!!! He had pushed Spock away when Spock had given up everything, his family, his planet, his heritage, just to be able to find him and be near him. And when they had been reunited – what had Leonard done? He had decided that Spock was nothing else but a selfish bastard who had left him and therefore he never want to be near the Vulcan again.

How senseless of him and how stupid!

His words had deeply hurt Spock, he knew now, but they had not diminished his love in the least.

 _I love you, Spock_ , he tried to think, he tried to send the message through the bond, hoping that Spock would catch it up somehow. Because he loved him, Spock was his life, his light, that one person who owned his heart… was it too late? Was it too late to say the right things?

He arrived on the Bridge and he was just about to ask Scotty if he could be of assistance – the young engineer was sitting on the Captain’s chair, he had pulled two consoles close, to his left and right, he had interfaced them with Engineering and with Transporter Room One and he was working on both of them simultaneously.

A sudden feeling of grief overwhelmed Leonard.

He knew it was not _his own_ grief – he had by now managed to differentiate between what he felt and what Spock felt.

It was Spock’s grief, and it was related to his parents.

“Scotty?”

“Yes, Le’nard?” the Scottish man said without turning – gosh, how many things was he even capable of doing at the same time?

“Has Nero killed Spock’s parents – uh – the Vulcan king, and – and his wife?”

“They’re most probably dead – the bastard fired at their specific location.”

Leonard came closer to the console.

“Where, which coordinates?”

“Here,” Scotty pointed to a specific location, but then he had to pay attention to much more urgent and important things. “Hey, Jim’s in! They haven’t detected him.”

“How the hell is that even possible?”

“He’s too small. A shuttle or even an escape pod would be detected, but something the size of a human – no one expects that. The costume shields his heat signature. He’s goin’ in like a bullet!”

“I’ll be in Sickbay”, Leonard said and left the Bridge.

But instead of going to Sickbay, he went to Transporter Room Two, which he knew to be empty at the time due to the heavy casualties. He activated a console, punched a set of coordinates which he had carefully memorized from Scotty’s console and stepped on the platform.

No more lost in thoughts, in emotions. Now, as Jim said, it was time to action.

Very soon, the transporter sequence commenced and Leonard vanished from the Starship Enterprise.


	13. When Shall We Three Meet Again?

Like a bullet, Jim flew right inside the enemy ship. He had a gun in each hand and he was not going to waste any time. He had a vast experience in space-jump and had earned numerous prizes, and had always loved to make a little show out of the jump, because if you could defy gravity, like the circus trapeze dancers, why not show-off a bit? He curled with his knees to his mouth as the mini-thrusters attached to his costume were reducing his speed.

His plan was simple: he was going to get Spock out of there, at whatever cost. He could not let him die – not only because he was important for Leonard, and Leonard was his best friend, for whom he would do absolutely anything – but also because Spock’s love, faith, loyalty and dedication to one single idea – that of being reunited with Leonard – had deeply touched Jim’s heart. Spock was a good person and he could not just _let him go_ – not after so many on Vulcan had died at the hands of that bastard.

Jim had never abandoned anyone and he was sure as hell not going to start now.

Jim had seen Nero fire at the location where Sarek and his wife were. He knew very well they were gone. He also knew that Spock had given up his heritage after Sarek had disproved of him and Leonard being together. Spock had given everything up for love, but that did not mean that he had turned his back to his people forever. Vulcan needed him. If Sarek was gone, they needed Spock.

“You must correct 37.243 degrees, 24 metres to target.”

“Please do not refer to Spock as to a _target_ , Scotty,” Jim transmitted – and then he began firing.

He had been spotted by Nero’s security squad and the _intruder alert_ was resounding throughout the ship.

Jim armed and shot, blessing all the known and unknown gods for the good weapons he had, for he countless hours of target firing and for the long sessions of show-off acrobatic jumps.

“KILL HIM NOW!!! I WANT KIRK DEAD NOW!!!” Nero screamed so loudly that Jim felt like covering his ears.

Spock came to his senses – his leg had been broken and had momentarily lost consciousness. He had been severely beaten up and tortured, but the name of his friend dissipated the thick veil that had obscured his mind for a while.

His friend had come – he had kept his word. Even if this would be the last of them, he would never forget that Jim had come for him as he had promised.

Spock could assist him in any way as he could barely move – but he could not help but notice that Nero, mad with fury as his shields had been disabled and the intruder could not be caught – had momentarily forgotten about him.

He looked around.

The console to their right, onto which Spock had preciously read Nero’s shield modulation frequency – also interfaced with their weapons.

He could still sense Leonard, somewhere agitated and struggling – very much alive – that was all that mattered – he thought that perhaps he could increase his mate’s chances of survival, even if Jim and himself would perish.

Nero and Jim were face to face now – Jim had landed in front of him and Nero was so enraged, that he wanted to kill him with his bare hands. Spock looked ad Jim – he was in great shape, slender and vivid – it would be a fair fight, perhaps. Spock crawled towards the console and leaning onto his healthy leg, he managed to stand.

It took him a few moments to disable Nero’s weapons completely and override the arming codes so that no one could reengage the weapons.

“I heard about you, Kirk,” Nero said with pure, unhidden hatred. “Young and talented and a certified genius – I am going to end your young career today.”

“I do not plan to die here today, thank you very much,” Jim said, going dangerously close to the margin of the catwalk they were standing on. He looked at Spock, who looked as if he was going to collapse any second. He needed to move further away from the antimatter chamber which was right near them, so that Spock could teleport them away from there.

“You need to jump, jump, JUMP!!!” Jim suddenly screamed, and fired a precise blast right at the glass wall of the antimatter conduit.

Spock managed to crawl to the edge of the catwalk and jumped off it. There was a 250 meter fall to the bottom of the warp core and he had no idea how he would survive but right now, it no longer mattered. His head was spinning – he felt he would lose consciousness soon and he hoped he would before hitting the bottom, but all of a sudden, strong arms caught him – Jim – JIM?

Jim had jumped to get him, adjusting his falling speed with the help of his space jump costume. The enemy ship was falling apart around them, as the main antimatter explosion had chained numerous other blasts – there was no getting away out of here alive, Spock managed to think with his last remaining bits of conscious mind.

“NOW, Scotty,” he heard Jim talk, and immediately after, he felt the familiar sensation of the transporter sequence commencing.

Strongly clinging to each other, they rematerialized on the Enterprise Transporter Room 1 and hit the floor hard.

Jim felt blood come out of his nose and he momentarily chocked with his own blood as several ribs broke.

Spock screamed in pain as the broken bones in his leg tore apart more muscle and.

Scotty rushed to them in a second, followed by a team of doctors.

“Let’s never do that again,” Scotty scolded them both because it had been crazy to manually get a lock of them whilst falling and beaming them the hell out of there. “Jeez, Jim, don’t talk, yer’ a mess. Oka’, hold still, we’re gonna take you to sickbay.”

“Le-o-nard…” Spock managed to whisper, because this was his first thought, now and always.

“Right, Leonard should be here,” Scotty realized. He flipped his communicator open. “Doctor McCoy, report to Transporter Room one.”

There was no response and Spock held his breath – Leonard was alive and well, he could feel it. Where was he?

Spock tried to push the feeling of terrible fear away – he was sure Leonard was most certainly with a critically-wounded patient, conveying him help, he was needed somewhere on the ship or probably he was not aware of what had happened and that they had returned – perhaps he no longer cared for him, but Spock knew Leonard cared for Jim and he would be here as soon as he could to attend to the needs of his Captain and friend.

Friend – he looked at Jim, who was seriously injured because of the hard landing on the transporter floor – the beaming sequence had unfortunately not reduced their speed so the impact had been violent and life-threatening – friend, he now understood what a friend meant – someone who would catch you when you fell, someone who would do anything to keep you safe, even at the cost of their own life. And if he had lost the love of his life, Leonard, at least Spock had earnt a friend – and it was important.

Jim had proved to him that humans are exceptional beings, capable to self-sacrifice for the well-being of others – perhaps not all of them were the same but Jim was, for Spock, the one Human Being in front of which he would stand up. Jim – his friend.

“Computer, locate Leonard McCoy,” Scotty further ordered.

“Doctor McCoy is not aboard the Enterprise.”


	14. You Have Loved Him Well

Leonard was removing big blocks of rock and construction debris. A voice in his head which was the voice of reason, most certainly, was telling him that he was a surgeon and he should not injure his hands, but this was very important – he had to do this.

He had located a faint Vulcan life-sign, along with a stronger Human one. He was going to get them out of there, no matter what. When he could not remove certain blocks, he would just use a phaser to tear them to pieces so that they could be moved.

He was not going to let Spock’s parents die.

He was not doing this out of sense of duty, even though – as a doctor – saving lives was a priority.

He was doing it for Spock – because he had sensed Spock’s grief and despair through their bond, at the thought of seeing the exact location of his parents bombarded by Nero. No matter how the relationship between Spock and his Father had degraded – and because of whom? – Leonard knew Spock grieved and regretted the useless loss of life, as well as the lost opportunity of _making things right._

Leonard had brought Spock much happiness, but also much pain. Leonard had felt Spock’s deep love and devotion towards his Father. He was sure it couldn’t have been easy to just cut all ties with him.

He found the woman first – Amanda, Spock’s mother. She was fully Human, and looked beautiful and mild, Leonard thought upon picking her in his arms and taking her on the grass where he could tend to her wounds. She had a punctured lung, which was easily repairable for Leonard, especially since he had brought with him an arsenal of medical tools. She stabilized her and caressed her hair gently.

“Hey…”

Her eyelids fluttered open.

“It’s okay. You are fine, I’ve got you,” he told her reassuringly.

“My son… where – “

“He will be all right, I promise. The bravest man I know went to get him out of that bastard’s hands. I know he’s your Father but that is no – “

“I know. I know. And my husband?”

“I need to go get him out. Promise me you will wait for me here and be good, okay?  You must not move, you are stable but not healed yet, and if you move, it may affect your breath and you could suffocate. So, promise me. You just lay here still, and do nothing. I’m gonna go get Sarek now.”

“Who – who are you?”

“My name’s Leonard.”

Amanda looked at him pensively.

“You are Spock’s mate…”

“I… yeah, I am.”

His heart had suddenly troubled like the sea’s surface under the storm. His eyes had filled with tears because even if he trusted Jim Kirk completely, he knew there were chances he would not make it out of there alive. All he knew until now was that Spock was not dead. He would know if Spock died. He would know because he would stop living as well.

He returned among the ruins and resumed searching. He was scanning and digging, scanning and shattering rocks apart; it all reminded him of a big earthquake that had taken place on Earth a while ago, when the buildings were not that strong. Many people had been caught under ruins and he and others had looked for survivors for days in a row.

He saw a beautiful hand.

He had to be careful now. Slowly, step by step, he removed all the rocks and metallic structure frames from all around the unconscious form of Sarek of Vulcan. He scanned him several times from all angles before attempting to move, and only when he was sure he would not produce any more damage he lifted him in his arms and managed to get him out.

He was severely injured.

He deposed him on the grass, near Amanda who had started crying at the sight of her beloved husband’s poor state.

“Hush now, don’t cry, that does not help me,” Leonard tried to comfort her as he was frantically working to stabilize him. “You know what? Better… uh – better tell me how you’ve met, it will help me concentrate better.”

Amanda doubted it would help but she obeyed.

“I was young… nineteen years old. I had finally managed to escape from my abusive Father’s hands.”

“Abusive – how?” Leonard wanted to know, while he was using a portable aspirator to clean the dust away from Sarek’s airways so that he could breathe.

“Alcohol,” she said sorrowfully. “Beatings, cursing, abuse of all sorts.”

Leonard’s fists clenched – he could not stand – NOT – STAND – to hear about any form of abuse towards a child. He would have just ripped the liver away from the abuser!

“So – you managed to get away.”

“I did, and I hoped he would not find me. I passed the admission exam to University and began studying xenobiology. It was back when the relations with the Vulcan race were being consolidated, so their Ambassador, Sarek, came to the University to give a lecture. I had never seen an alien before so I was very curious. When I saw him…”

“…you felt you’ve known him for a thousand years, your soul started burning, your heart started beating faster, you had no air. You felt a bridge was just bursting out of your mind and heading in his general direction.”

“Yes. You know the symptoms oh so well, Leonard.”

“Yes. And he?”

“He saw me, and immediately after the lecture he came to me. Our hands touched. Everyone was perplexed – one does not simply touch a Vulcan. _Take me with you_ , I told him that instant, you know, like in a really bad alien movie.”

“And he did?”

“He did. Just as we were leaving the room, I had spotted my Father in the crowd – he had found me and he was coming to _retrieve_ me. Luckily, the Ambassador was heavily guarded, and we managed to get to the shuttle unharmed. I became his, just like you gave yourself to my son, without a single moment of doubt.”

“Yeah,” Leonard said bitterly, and that very moment the monitor he had previously placed on Sarek’s heart started beeping. “Theeeeere we go.”

“What – what – what is happening???” she asked hysterically, sitting up with great difficulty and barely managing not to scream.

“Whoa little lady, calm down. I managed to revive him. I am restoring his brain functions as we speak. His heart is a bit lower than the normal position in the Human body, I needed a bit of time to get used to the anatomy.”

“He was – he was??? Dead?”

“He was in cardiac arrest, which means almost dead, yes. He is doing much better now and we can attempt transport back to my ship. Let’s hope Jimmy managed to stop that crazy father of yours. There are many injured people here.”

Amanda took Sarek’s hand and kissed it with devotion, love, and hope – they would make it through this difficult attempt, as long as they were together, they could accomplish anything, she thought.

“McCoy to Enterprise.”

“What In The Hell, Bones!!!” Jim yelled at him through the communicator.

“Will explain later. Have two full-crash teams with stretchers meet me in Transporter Room. Three to beam up on the lowest sequence, I have one patient in critical state.”

 

Jim smiled towards Scotty who had come to Transporter Room to assist them.

“I could’ve had located him 30 minutes ago, y’kno?” Scotty smiled back.

“He had to do what he had to do,” Jim said calmly. “He needed the chance and the time to accomplish it.”

“So you knew where he was this whole time?”

“Yes.”

“Y’er mad. I wanna marry you.”

“Okay,” Jim said. “Energize!”


	15. Royal Hope

The two medical teams which Leonard wanted were present in the Transporter Room, waiting, so when Leonard and his two wounded patients materialized on the platform, they rushed to help. Leonard did not even have time to curse that damn transporter which he hated.

“Give me two milligrams or cordrazine and stand by with the sonic separator. Take the woman straight to the ionized chamber for the full 12-minute sequence. Don’t worry, Amanda, everything is going to be all right.” Leonard took a deep breath and looked around, spotting Jim and Scotty who were standing aside, not wanting to disturb the medical procedures.

“Good to see you, Jim,” he told him with a little smile.

“Ahem. Welcome back, Doctor,” Jim said trying to sound upset and stern. “You have got a lot of explaining to do.”

Leonard did not know what to say, and he did not have the luxury of thinking about that now – yeah, he had left the Enterprise without telling anyone, without conveying his location and coordinates, which represented a severe act of insubordination.

“Don’t give him that shit, man,” Scotty suddenly spluttered towards Jim. Really, everyone just needed to give Leonard a break, for God’s sake!

Instead of being upset and shocked by Scotty’s reaction – because who in the hell did that Scottish man think he was to talk to the Captain Of A Starship in that manner?? – Jim looked positively ashamed.

“I’ll be on the Bridge,” Jim said. “I expect a full report when you can, Bones.”

“Yeah okay,” Leonard managed to say, while regenerating one of Sarek’s coronary arteries, which had almost been severed by a bone fragment. “Uh, Jim, where is Spock?”

“In Sickbay,” Jim replied simply. “You shall find him there.”

“And what of Nero?”

“We have taken care of the problem. No more worries. Tend to your family.”

With those words, Jim left, followed closely by Scotty.

His Family, Leonard thought. Good, Almighty God, this was his family!!! His Father-in-Law, his Mother-in-Law, his bondmate…

“Get me Operating-Room Three ready at once,” Leonard ordered through his communicator. Adjust the inclination of the operating table to 15 degrees.”

His assistants rushed to fulfil the orders as they were carrying Sarek to the Sickbay.

“Find me an ear-piece with microphone and place it on my head, I want to communicate with M’Benga, I suppose he is treating Spock. I want to know his condition immediately and I cannot go to him yet.”

A headset was sterilized and placed on Leonard’s head as he was scrubbing and dressing up for surgery. He had no time to lose because Sarek’s heart had been severely affected, also his airways, he had a head injury and many other small wounds. He would not waste any time, because he really, really, really did not plan on letting this being die. No. He had things to do, things to solve and talk about with his son.

“M’Benga here.”

“Leonard,” he said simply. “How is Spock, M’Benga?”

“Still in shock. He had been brought in with a broken leg which I am still regenerating with the osteoregen, but it takes a lot of time, as…“

“…as the bone density of the Vulcans is different from that of humans, it is normal. Continue on the 0.2 sequence. The bone should be aligned perfectly.”

“Please, do not worry.”

“Easier said than done,” Leonard whispered. “Okay, please maintain the channel open. I want to know EVERYTHING that happens.”

“Understood. They say you saved the Vulcan king?”

“I haven’t saved him yet,” Leonard said, because it was true at more levels that one.

 

Many hours passed. Jim had managed to completely neutralize Nero’s ship and Federation ships had rushed to offer assistance to them as well as to the Planet Vulcan, who momentarily had no leader. A very old Vulcan, who had survived the vicious attack, contacted Jim on an official channel.

“Greetings, Captain Kirk, my name is Selek.”

“Greetings, Sir,” Jim said, standing up. He did not know why but the old Vulcan inspired him awe and respect…

“How is our King, if we may know? Is he going to survive?”

“Our Doctor believes so. He has just left the Operating Room a short while ago.”

“May we see him?”

“ _We?”_

“I am the Elder member of our Council and one of the few survivors. My fellows are here by my side.”

“Doctor McCoy, please report to the Bridge at once,” Jim transmitted through the communicator, even though he knew well that Leonard was dead-tired and the last thing he needed was some kind of official video-call.

Leonard arrived a few minutes later, he was barely standing. He leaned on a console, he had managed to fully stabilize Sarek, who was now out of danger, but he had not managed to see Spock and he really needed to sit down for a moment and eat an energy-bar of some sort.

“The gentleman wanted to talk to you,” Jim explained the reason for which he was disturbing him.

“Oh okay,” Leonard managed to mumble. “Well?”

“Doctor Leonard?” the old Vulcan asked.

“That’s me,” Leonard replied.

“My name is Selek. I am the Elder of the Vulcan council. Might we know the state of our King and his heir?”

“They are both out of danger.”

“Thank you for their lives,” Selek said respectfully. “Doctor Leonard, as the bondmate to the heir of the throne of Vulcan, we defer to your good judgment concerning the difficult situation in which we are. What do you advise us to do?”

Leonard frowned. What in the hell was this guy talking about?

“Huh?” – because it was all he was capable of saying.

“You are the only one of the royal family which is currently well and conscious and capable of giving us hope and strength. Until our King or his Heir return, you are to be our leader.”

“Oh, hell…” Leonard cursed but luckily for him, Jim had muted the speakers right now. He went to his friend and took his arm.

“Bones, I think that they need some kind of encouragement.”

“From ME????”

“As he said, you are the _next in command_. You are Spock’s mate, and Spock is the King’s son.”

“Well, dunno, they kind-of fought and… and Spock said he no longer recognized him as his Father.”

“And you believe this shit, really? Because you believe it that means it is gonna happen.”

Leonard straightened his back.

“Put me through to the Council.”

Jim unmuted the speakers, hoping really hard that his friend will not make a complete fool of himself, because, well, he was THE best doctor, but no diplomat.

“Mr. Selek and fellow members of the Council, people of Vulcan,” Leonard began, not knowing how he could even utter such words. “These are trying times. We have gone through great misfortune, us who have never even thought about war or fighting. But the damage has been done and we must pick up the pieces. My Captain and the Federation have already dispatched medical teams and nourishment. I will personally coordinate the operations. Please organize groups of ten, people who are uninjured and healthy, to function as search teams because there are many people caught under the buildings which have fallen. Their rescue is of utmost importance. Do you have medical scanners?”

“We do not, Leonard,” Selek replied respectfully. But we, the Vulcans, function through bonds. We will sense the proximity of a fellow Vulcan.”

“Good, use the bonds. I will beam you down a container of medical scanners and you will use them to scan everyone you find. I will assess the situation of all the critically wounded patients and we shall see what is there to do in each particular situation. Meanwhile, people of Vulcan, do not lose hope.”

“ _Hope?”_ the old Vulcan asked, because the word, the concept in itself was unfamiliar to him.

“Hope,” Leonard repeated. “Hope is the strong belief that there is _good_ in this world and that it shall prevail. Hope is this warm feeling which I also harbour in my heart, that love and solidarity can conquer everything.”

“ _Hope_ , so be it, then, Leonard,” Elder Selek said, and he smiled.

 

For the first time in his life, Jim was speechless.


	16. Strong Knots Of Love

The time had come, Leonard knew it, he felt it. The time had come for Spock and himself to be reunited. What would he say, what would he do? After all, he had pushed Spock away, as his own heart had been hurt beyond words. How to fix the damage that had been done – was it even reversible at all?

But Leonard knew this: when there is true love, there is no such thing as irreparable damage.

Jim had taken care of the major crisis they had faced in an exemplary manner – still, Leonard had to have a word with that crazy kid when all this will have settled down – Jim’s actions and ways of solving problems were original and dangerous to say the least. To even imagine doing a space-jump onto an enemy ship – how crazy was that??

Leonard took a deep breath and went into the room no. 21 in the Medical Bay – where Spock was recovering after the long, exhausting intervention to get his leg fixed. He felt Spock’s longing, his impatience to be reunited, his love above everything – he felt all these through the bond. And God, Leonard loved him so much…

He remained in the doorway; Spock turned to look at him right away and if he had been capable, he would have jumped right out of the bed to rush to him, to hold him tight in his arms and never let him go. But he still had a few hours to stay in that bed, because the osteoregenerating process was not complete yet.

“Leonard…” he whispered. “Please… please, come to me.”

Spock was calling him… those words echoed throughout his entire being, he felt they were so right, he felt he had to reunite with his rightful mate right away…

He walked towards him slowly – not because he wanted to prolong the agony of separation, but because he needed a few seconds to calm his pounding heart.

“Spock…” he said, chocked with emotions. “I… am sorry.”

Spock extended one hand towards him and took a good hold of his wrist, in order to be able to pull him closer; Leonard opposed no resistance; still, Spock had to be sure Leonard was here out if his own will, because he loved him, and not because of some sense of… medical duty.

He pulled Leonard closer, closer, closer, and Leonard let him. He wrapped one hand around his waist and effectively pulled him on the bed, taking him in his arms and holding him tight, afraid that Leonard would suddenly just… go away.

 _I’ll hurt your leg,_ Leonard wanted to say, but Spock started to kiss him, all of a sudden, deeply, with unrestrained passion, with all the heartache and longing which had gathered, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow, and Leonard melted into those kisses, once more feeling they were a single being, which could not and should not be split in two.

He could not live without Spock – God, how had he even been able to survive so far? Spock, his love, his life, his bondmate, that person which he had found adrift and saved, long ago, that person which he had loved from the very first moment.

“Spock…” he managed to say after a while. He did not know how much time had passed. He was in Spock’s biobed, laying on top of him, and Spock was holding him tight, one hand under his t-shirt, caressing his bare back and kissing him slowly. “Spock. I love you. I love you.”

Spock’s hand went to his face, a gesture which Leonard had never forgotten. Smooth fingers aligned on his face and their minds merged in the next moment. Leonard thought that perhaps Spock wanted to probe his intentions, to see if he was speaking the truth; to convince himself that the words of love he was hearing were not deceiving.

But instead of this, he found himself somewhere halfway between their minds – as if a bridge had connected their beings and they had met somewhere in the middle, on the highest point.

Spock did not want to probe Leonard’s mind. He wanted to convey his own feelings, to justify himself for having abandoned his bondmate the way he had done; Spock wanted Leonard to know that he had given up everything in order to find Leonard once more.

Leonard started to cry. He was shaking, it was a crying of despair and grief for all the pain they had to endure, for all the misfortunes and misunderstandings.

“Forgive me, Leonard. I will spend a lifetime making up for the pain I have caused you.”

“No… do not say that, Spock. You should be the one forgiving me. You left, but you had no choice. And when you came back, I pushed you away. I will never forgive myself for that. I will never push you away again.”

Leonard felt Spock slowly breaking the meld and looking for his hand. He felt a ring being placed on one of his finger – his eyes widened.

“What… are you…?

“I am asking you to marry me. I will not live without you ever again, Leonard, not even for one second.”

Leonard looked at the ring for one second, then wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck, holding him tight, crying because he was happy and desperate and one million other things, all at the same time…

“Where did you even get a ring from?”

“Um… well, if you must know. Jim told me that I would need a ring and brought it to me. Jim is a – how should I say?”

“A damn wizard, bless that crazy kid. So,

 he brought you a ring and told you to propose to me.”

“I asked him how it is done, so he explained and provided the necessary tools.”

Leonard started to laugh – a serene, joyful laugh that even surprised himself – and he knew they had started to heal. _The necessary tools!_

“Shouldn’t you ask the permission of your parents before such an important endeavour?” Leonard asked tentatively, because if the healing had started, it had to happen at more levels than one.

Spock’s eyes darkened for a moment.

“I can sense my mother has survived. I know nothing of her whereabouts and condition. It may take a long while before she is able to communicate with me.”

So, Jim was capable of both giving marriage counselling AND keep a secret, Leonard thought that was formidable. Leonard could only hope that – one day – Jim would find an equally formidable mate for himself and know the happiness of love, because there was no greater happiness – and he did deserve it…

“And what are your thoughts about your Father?” Leonard inquired.

“Leonard, you may know already that between me and King Sarek of Vulcan there no longer is a filial bond. I broke it when he disapproved of you and I would do it all over again.”

“But don’t you regret it? You seemed to love him dearly.”

“ _Love_ did not even begin to describe the feeling, Leonard. I worship… worshipped him. He was a God for me and the owner of my life. But no one can compare to you. You take precedence before everyone. For you, I will gladly give God up. And I have even done so. Anyway, now it is too late. I no longer sense his _katra_.”

“His what?”

“Katra – the Terran equivalent would be that of _consciousness._ ”

“What does that mean, if you can no longer sense it?”

“It means he is no longer alive.”

“But it could also mean that he is unconscious.”

“Not him. His mind holds our race together, he is the keeper of our bonds, the owner of our minds. He cannot become unconscious – he has an awareness that surpasses all physiological processes that could incapacitate him.”

“No wonder your people feel so lost…” Leonard said thoughtfully, remembering how everyone just looked… adrift down the planet.

“What do you mean, Leonard?”

“After both you and Sarek were incapacitated, so to speak, your people reached out to me as I am, apparently, the bondmate of the Vulcan heir and therefore the next in command.”

Spock’s eyes widened in astonishment.

“What – what did you do?” he asked with a trembling heart.

“I conveyed medical and search teams, made a disaster plan and gave a few speeches. Did what I could – not much, since I am no diplomat. Hell, no one ever believes me when I say I am just a doctor, for crying out loud!”

Spock blinked a few times.

“The bondmate of the Vulcan heir… but I no longer am the Vulcan heir,” Spock said with deep sorrow and regret. “I have given up my filial bond. I told my Fa-… I told King Sarek that I no longer call myself his son, for what he had done.”

“Well, Spock, it seems that he did not think the same way and that your rash words did not impede him in any way to keep considering you his child – because that is what you are, what you will always be.”

Tears filled Spock’s eyes.

Leonard disconnected the various wires and monitors that were connected to his leg.

“My assistant brought you a new uniform. Go on and dress.”

Spock was so overwhelmed by grief, that he was not capable of reacting yet.

“Spock. Listen to me. Life rarely gives us second chances. It gave US a second chance and I’d be damned if I am going to ruin it. But at the same time, life – which rarely grants me any free gifts – gave me the possibility to build a second chance for you on another level. So please get dressed and follow me. There is something you need to see.”


	17. The Chance of Goodness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more Chapter until the end.

Spock felt a strange tremor hearing Leonard’s mysterious words. He felt there was something important going on, so without any other comments, he dressed in Starfleet uniform and followed Leonard.

Leonard took him to the private sector, room 9.02, where Sarek and Amanda were recovering. He unlocked the door using his private code and allowed Spock come inside, he himself stepping a bit aside in order to let him see who was in the room and… adapt to the sight.

Spock thought he was hallucinating for a moment. He blinked a couple of times and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Were they on the holodeck? – he asked himself and then he remembered, they were in the Medical Bay, so this was real, as real as it could be. His parents were alive, they were conscious – they were right there, in front of him.

Spock felt weak, all of a sudden.

Sarek of Vulcan, his King, his Master moreover, his… Father, was alive.

“How… is this possible? I cannot feel you – “

“Of course you cannot, son. You broke our bond. You can feel nothing through a broken bond,” Sarek spoke tiredly, extending one hand toward him.

Spock ignored the torrent of emotions that momentarily flooded his consciousness – regret, worry, shame, but most of all, everlasting love and adoration – and he rushed to his bed, taking the hand which had been offered to him with grace and kindness.

He fell on his knees and covered it with kisses and tears.

“Father… I am so sorry, father, please, please forgive me, forgive me.”

Sarek could not sit up yet, but he squeezed his hand and tried to pull him closer; the sight of his son crying uncontrollably at his feet was more than he could endure.

“Spock, child. Please, come on up. I want to hold into my arms.”

Spock had been used to obey his orders wordlessly for many years. He got up immediately and – with care – he sat on the side of the bed, near him, looking at him with despair, as if he wanted to… simply absorb him! Oh, the longing, the heartache, the mistakes he had made! How could he have abandoned this being!

Sarek pulled him to his chest and held him with much tenderness.

“My child, my dear, dear child. Hush now, please stop crying. Enough tears have been shed on both sides. We are together now. And I promise you – nothing like this will ever happen again.”

Spock sank into his arms and remained still for a few moments, with his head on Sarek’s chest, listening to his heart beating. What would life had been without Sarek of Vulcan?

“How is Mother?” he asked, seeing her on a bed, 2.5 meters farther. He could sense her through the maternal bond and that was why he had not worried for her well-being so much.

“She is much better than me. She is sleeping. Leonard gave her a mild analgesic so that he would have a deep, dreamless sleep.”

“Father,” Spock said sitting up to be able to look at him better. “How is this possible? I saw Nero fire two torpedoes straight at the council room where you were. How DID you survive?”

“Son, I do not think I actually survived, to be very honest.”

“I do not understand.”

“Leonard came after me and dug through the debris, got me out and… resuscitated me. But I know the extent of the injuries I had suffered. I had managed to push your Mother to safety, but an entire marble wall came collapsing over me. I do not know how Leonard managed… Your mate is what Humans call a _miracle worker_.”

Spock turned to look at Leonard who had remained near the door, wanting to give them a moment together.

“Leonard… please, please, come here,” Spock said, actually standing up and going to him. He took his hand and brought him to Sarek’s bed.

Leonard smiled and took advantage of the opportunity to take ample readings of Sarek and adjust several dosages. He was out of danger, yes, but the way to recovery was still long and he had to be careful – he had still a lot to learn about the Vulcan physiology.

“Leonard – how did you manage all… this?”

“Yes, I would also like to know,” Sarek added.

“To put it simple, I sort-of disobeyed Jim’s orders and broke nearly all Starfleet rules I knew, so basically… that way.”

Spock frowned. He was the kind of person who would always follow rules and discipline, so the idea that Leonard had done such things was… troubling. What if Leonard was going to be in trouble? What if Jim was really, really, angry? What if something happened that would keep them even further apart? The idea was unbearable.

“I will meld with you,” he announced and he softly aligned his fingers on Leonard’s face. Leonard was his mate; he did not need to ask for his permission to meld; it was long since Leonard had given him his mind, his heart, his very soul…

“Okay,” Leonard said with a smile – how he longed for his touch! Even the tips of Spock’s fingers on his face made him shiver.

Spock went through his memories, reviewing the moment of Sarek and Amanda’s rescue from the planet’s surface. Such care and dedication to life, but most of all such selflessness and such love for him, for Spock… it was the only thing that guided all his actions, that filled all his thoughts.

Spock finished absorbing the information. He would cherish those moments for the rest of his life.

“Leonard… thank you, _ashayam_ ,” he said softly. “You have saved not only my life, but also my honour and my sanity. I will forever be grateful for all your acts of devotion and selflessness. Apart from the love I have for you, I can safely say you are the bravest and kindest man that I have ever had the fortune of meeting.”

Leonard blushed and looked downwards – no one had ever said such words to him.

“The time has come, son, to go be with your mate. You have gone through a lot of heartache and pain and more than enough separation,” Sarek said, taking Spock’s right hand and Leonard’s left hand. “May your union be blessed with the gift of everlasting love and the depths of wisdom. May the courage which gave you, both, strength to endure separation and pain be an inspiration to all those who would hear your story. Go now.”

Spock’s eyes were bright, shining. He stood up and took Leonard’s hand.

“Where are we going?” Leonard asked softly.

“To my cabin,” Spock said. “We must be alone now. Just you and me. We have much to talk about…”

Leonard followed him silently, his heart was beating fast – finally, finally, finally they were reunited! Spock, his life, his heart, was once more with him.

“So, what do you want to talk about first?” he asked, as Spock was closing the door behind them.

But instead of answering, Spock wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him, kissed him, kissed him.


	18. A Heart To Love

Strong hands had taken him to bed, undressing him. Leonard felt his mind, his soul, his body burning – his very heart was in flames. Spock’s hands were roaming all over his body, getting reacquainted with what was his – together again, their bodies strived to be joined once more. A sharp moment of pain melted away in soothing words of comfort and he felt Spock inside him – inside his body, inside his mind – he felt they were one, one being in two bodies and it was as it should have been.

At last.

Leonard relaxed in his arms, letting Spock take from him whatever he wanted – he would never again deny him anything.

“I love you, Spock. I love you. I loveyouloveyou.”

“I love you too, Leonard,” Spock said – he who had never thought himself capable of uttering such words!

Spock’s touch was heavy and intense, as if he was sculpting and modelling a marble statue, wanting to know, kiss and caress every inch of skin. It made Leonard dizzy, his vision blurry, his mind no longer working, all he could feel was Spock. He felt that if Spock stopped, he would simply die. They needed to reach a certain level of… saturation, as if each of them needed to convince himself that the other one was _actually there_.

 

Leonard had no idea how much time had passed. They were still in bed, he was laying on his belly and Spock was over him, their bodies still joined, undulating slowly and deeply; strange, Leonard thought as his own mind was slowly restarting. He could not remember either of them having reached a climax. It had been this way _back then_ , on the shuttle. They were _making love_ in the most basic sense. Neither of them felt the need of a climax, but rather of a forever-joining in which they could be as close as possible.

He also felt Spock’s fingers on his right cheek and his presence in his mind – it was overwhelming. The merging of their minds reflected that of their souls – a greedy desire to know everything, to learn about all the experiences, thoughts and desires that the other one had experienced.

“Are you tired, Ashayam?” Spock asked him softly.

“Ashayam – _Beloved_ – right?” Leonard inquired, picking the translation from his mind.

“Indeed so.”

“I am very tired,” he answered truthfully, there was no point in saying otherwise since it was the truth and Spock could see for himself in his mind.

“We shall take a break.”

“Nooo. No Don’t want to be apart from you.”

“I know. Neither do I, but you must eat and rest and I need a hypospray for my leg.”

That alerted Leonard, and soon they were both on their feet, having showered and Leonard brought food for both of them. They cuddled on the couch to eat and to still be close to one another.

There was no need for many words. They loved each other; they were together again; nothing could ever separate them – not now, nor ever.

“The Captain left me a message,” Spock said checking his communicator messages – “he says to advise him when we are available to talk to him.”

“Now would be a good time, because I don’t know about you, but right after I am finishing these sandwiches, I am going straight to bed, and I am telling you that you are coming too.”

“Yes,” Spock said simply, texting Jim to come to their room.

Jim did not delay. He chimed and he was let in, after which he sat down on an armchair, to be able to see both of them. He was content. All his efforts had paid; his friends were together again. It was so rewarding, at a personal level, to see them so happy and content. To even imagine trying to separate these beings… Outrage!

“What is our situation, Captain?” Spock asked, because – all of a sudden – he realized he had left his Captain all alone to deal with an incredible amount of things to solve, pretty much all by himself.

“Nero has been dealt with, if this is your question. We have left King Sarek and Amanda decide the faith of his ship. Amanda has personally given the order to fire five torpedoes at the ship, to erase any trace of…  of, you know. Of everything.”

“Was Nero still alive, Captain?”

“I am unsure if he was alive or dead when we left his ship, Spock, but of one thing you can be sure, he ain’t alive now.”

Spock did not comment the piece of news in any way. While it was well embodied within his consciousness that he will never kill any being, somehow, having found out about Nero’s death – at the hands of his mother Amanda moreover – made him feel… relieved!

“What is the planet’s status?”

Jim replicated himself a cup of coffee.

“King Sarek has resumed command – yeah, Bones, don’t look so outraged. Doctor M’Benga and also a Healer from Vulcan contributed to his well-being. He got out of the bed and stayed with me on the Bridge for many hours until we got the aid-ships down the planet and the rescue operations were once again put in motion. You’d already done a pretty good job about that, Bones, but well, the man knows his planet.”

“Many casualties?”

“7542 dead, many wounded… it will take time to fix everything…”

Spock was pensive. Should he remain and help, or should he get on with his life as a Starfleet Officer?

The thought reflected on to Leonard, of course.

“I am staying with you, if you are. Jim, don’t even think of saying no.”

“Right now, Bonesy the only thing that crosses my mind is a bed. Saying _No_ to either of you, in whatever circumstances, is not within my immediate intentions.”

Both Spock and Leonard smiled.

“Jim,” Spock said carefully. “I have never got to thank you for all the extraordinary things you have done for me… from that very first moment when you found me in that bar – until this very day. What drove you to such acts of kindness and courage?”

“You are my friend,” Jim said simply, but at the same time he looked deeply into Spock’s eyes. “A true friend does _everything_ within his power for the other, and if necessary, he should also do impossible things. I believe in friendship as in a life-force, just like you believe in love.”

Spock got out of the couch and came to Jim, offering him his hand.

Jim stood up, suddenly nervous, he knew Vulcans did not shake hands, it was a rare honour and a very intimate gesture.

He took Spock’s hand.

“Thank you, James Kirk. At all times you were, and you shall forever be my friend.”

Leonard smiled pensively looking at the two men. Each of them meant so much to him, each in his own way. Amazing how much they had been through! To find Spock in a shuttle and save him – to fall in love with him at first sight – to love him desperately and to lose him. To endure the pain of separation and betrayal, to be reunited and almost lost again – it all reminded him of one of those ancient plays by William Shakespeare – burning passions, grief and courage, betrayal and hope – and above all, eternally shining, the never-ending, everlasting, consuming love for _the one_ –

– for he had found a heart to love, and in that heart, courage…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for having read "A Heart To Love" - I am now open to suggestions and requests.  
> My "tools": Spock - Leonard; Dominance / Submission; eventually Sherlock / Mycroft.

**Author's Note:**

> Characters and some pictures belong to Paramount  
> Story by AnJoan Grey  
> anjoangrey@gmail.com


End file.
